”Then they called Rebekah and said to her, “Will you go with
this man?” And she said, “I will go.” (Genesis 24:58)
The story of Isaac and Rebekah is a beautiful picture of Jesus—the Bridegroom, and the Bride of Christ—the Church.
Abraham the father, sent his eldest servant, to find a bride for his son, Isaac. However, the servant was carefully instructed that if she was not willing to come with him to be the bride, he was not to force her.
In the same way, God the Father sent His Holy Spirit to draw us to Jesus the Son, to become the Bride of Christ. But the Holy Spirit never forces us to come. We must freely and willingly surrender our hearts to the Bridegroom Jesus, and become espoused to Him.
And isn't that the way love should be.
Freely, sacrificially giving ourselves to, and for, one another. Not begrudgingly, out of some cold, stingy, sense of duty.
Jesus said (to all of His followers, men and women, young and old alike):
"A new commandment I give to you; that you love one another as I have loved you." (John 13:34)
How did Jesus love us?
Sacrificially—laying down His very life.
He said (to all of His followers, men and women, young and old alike):
"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:13)
Does that command sound complicated?
So why do we—especially husbands and wives—make this so hard? Why do we war against each other, fighting over having control and getting our way in our relationships?
Brothers and sisters—this ought not to be.
Since I'm a husband, I am going to pick on my brothers in Christ a little bit. As the spiritual leaders of our homes, we are commanded; "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." (Ephesians 5:25)
Again, how did Christ love the church? Sacrificially, by giving His very life for His Bride—the church.
He didn't lord His power and position over the church in an angry, arrogant, or domineering way.
No, He led in love. He spoke the truth passionately, in love. And He taught with patience and sensitivity, having compassion on those who were in need. Ultimately, He went to the Cross willingly, to die, because that was the only way He could save us. By the shedding of His own blood. By the giving of His own life.
Jesus called to His disciples; "Come, follow Me."
But He never forced anyone to follow Him. He never circumvented their free will. He wants us to freely choose to receive Him. He doesn't want cowering slaves, or pre-programmed robots for disciples.
Husbands, lead in love.
Lead by setting aside your own personal needs and wants, and instead, nurture, comfort, encourage, support and care for your wife, patiently understanding and attending to her needs. Might be a good time to re-read, and then put into practice, the Love Chapter—1 Corinthians 13.
Over the years when my wife and I had our challenges and even our little (and not so little) wars, usually the problem was me trying to force an issue, trying to pressure my wife into doing, or being something that (for whatever reason) she was not yet ready, or willing to do. Oh, I had Scripture on my side, and technically, I was in the 'right.' But my heart wasn't right. I was trying to force her, when Jesus Himself wasn't trying to force her. One day, He spoke quite clearly to me; "Will you get get out of My way and just let Me work on her?" I said, "Yes, Sir...I will."
God showed me clearly that I can't change my wife's heart—only He can do that, and then only when she is ready, and willing.
The moral of the story goes back to Isaac and Rebekah in Genesis 24. The eldest servant asked the father, "And what if the woman is not willing to come with me?" The father responded, "Then you will be released of this oath." In other words, he was not to force her to come with him to be a bride for Abraham's son.
For all of us who profess to be followers of Christ—men, women, young and old alike—if we love Jesus, we will choose, in love, to walk in obedience and submission to Him. Jesus said;
"Whoever has My commands and keeps them, is the one who loves Me." (John 14:21)
For married and single people alike; if we truly love Jesus, we will lay down our will, our rights, and the need to get our way, and love each other. If you can't, or won't do this, I think you need to ask yourself, how much do you truly love Christ?
And for all of you married folks, love Jesus by loving and serving your spouse sacrificially—even if he or she is not walking in obedience to the Lord.
I believe that if a husband will love Christ by loving his wife in this way—leading in love—that ultimately, she will in turn follow his lead and turn to the Lord, and will want to love Him all the more.
And so will much fruit be produced by, and for the Lord, that He might be glorified.
—God is Love and Love Never Fails.