Time to Grow Up

(Me, in my extremely selfish stage of life; 1990)

Do people like to be around you? 

Or does it seem like people have been avoiding you?

Perhaps it's because you constantly complain about the same old things that you have been complaining about for years. 

When you spend time with your friends, do you tend to always ask for prayer for the same old "struggles" but you can't seem to break the destructive cycle of these issues in your life?

Have these destructive issues or behavioral patterns in your life been there for an extended period of time?

Time to grow up.

First, we need to clear up a way-too-common misconception:

You are not "struggling" with: "______________________."  (You fill in the blank: "porn", "over eating", "drunkenness", "lying", "complaining about your soul-sucking job", "outbursts of wrath", "lusting after someone who you are not married to", etc, etc).

These behavioral patterns are not "struggles." 

No, you choose to do these things.  

It's not a "struggle"—it's sin. At least be honest and call it what it is. 

You have been given the gift of free will brother (or sister).  

Use it wisely.

"That we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head; Christ." (Ephesians 4:14-15)

When you consider the issues or problems in your life that you call "struggles" it should always cause you to ask yourself this one question: do you love God?

Because if you truly do, you will want to honor Him by being obedient and walking in the newness of the spiritual life that you have been freely given.

You will look at obedience and living a life that is pleasing to God as a "Get to"—not as a "got to."

"Growing up in all things into Christ"—(i.e. spiritual maturity)—is to choose to die to (your)-self-(will) and love Him and honor Him, by using the gift of free will that God has given you—choosing to obey His Word and His will. 

How can I know what God's will is for me?  

Start by praying and reading the Bible. 

The Bible is God's primary source of communicating His will for us. Too many people (including me) spend time listening for some mystical 'voice' to tell them what they should do, not realizing that there are many voices out there—and most of them are not speaking the truth.  Test every voice you hear by the written Word of God. Then you will surely know what God's will for you is.

The good news is, God never commands you to do anything without giving you everything you need to accomplish it.

Here is a long list, which clearly describes the kind of life that God wants you and I to live. It may look impossible to accomplish—but with God, all things are possible:

"So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.

That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin.” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:17-32)

You need the power of God to do all of that. And God's promise is "He is your very present help in time of need." But you have to ask Him for His help.  "You do not have because you do not ask God." (James 4:2)

But you have to choose to obey God's commands.

I am faithful to my wife not because I am commanded to—it's because I love her.

Being faithful to God and loving Him should be done for the same reason, in the same way, but much, much more so.

Christ won't force you to do anything—including loving Him.

     Love is a choice.

—God is Love and Love Never Fails.

The Measure of a Man

What is the true measure of a man?

Respect.

And that doesn't come cheap.  You have to earn it.

I know a very small group of men who are true friends who stick closer than a brother. They have earned my respect, and I theirs.  They are men who possess true battle-proven character and integrity. They are trustworthy, mature men. They would take a bullet for me, and I for them.

How many guys do you know who you could say that about?  How many men would you literally trust with your life? And with the lives of those dearest to you?

Not very many.

Examining my own life and character first, I ask, are you living a life, day-to-day, in the moment as man who walks worthy of respect?

Respect among men is an honor code.

Are you an honorable man?

Every day, but especially on this day—Mother's Day—examine yourself before God and ask, "am I a man who is worthy of respect?"

Do you treat your wife, your mom, or your daughter with love and respect?  How about how you treat women in general?

How do you measure up as a man?


—God is Love and Love Never Fails.

An Inconvenient Love

"Greater love has no one than this—than to lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:13)

I heard a message the other day that stated:  

"Loving people the way that Jesus loved people will cause you some inconvenience."

What a sobering and inconvenient reminder.

But it's a reminder I need daily.

Truth be told, like most everyone else, I want some major peace, happiness and comfort in this life.  "Dying to self?"  "Take up my cross daily?"  That certainly doesn't come naturally.  Not for me anyway.  But hey, keep those "blessings" coming.

Over the last decade I've grown increasingly sickened and weary of the whole materialistic christian sub-culture. Some call it "Churchianity."  So many churches have become like cliquey country clubs with polished marketing campaigns, catering to specific demographics. It's such a consumer mindset. Christians have their Christian bumper stickers. We have our fancy leather bible covers with all kinds of religious slogans on them.  You can even get camouflage bible covers.  There are hundreds of cool religious bumper stickers letting the world know that we don't agree with their pagan views. Thousands of religious hats and t-shirts galore. Pastors and church youth groups everywhere are doing their darndest to make church and Jesus "cool." We have thousands of Christian songs we can download to our i-Pods. Church goers complain if the music and bands on Sunday morning are not just to their liking.  People fill out comment cards telling the pastor they don't like how he taught something.  People don't like the coffee the church serves. Not enough doughnuts. They don't play enough contemporary songs.  They don't play enough old hymns. I have to walk a block from where I parked to get to the church building. The parking lot attendant was rude to me. It's too warm in here today. It's too cold...

Aren't you sick of it?

How many of us who call ourselves "Christians" ever allow ourselves to be bothered to actually help someone in need?  

In Matthew chapter 25, Jesus said:

“When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory. All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats. And He will set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’

“Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’"

I think that says it all.

Today I needed the reminder that Jesus demonstrating His love for a lost world was inconvenient. It cost Him something.  It cost Him everything. He laid down His life for you and for me.

"Greater love has no one than this—than to lay down one's life for his friends."

     —An inconvenient love.

—God is Love, and Love Never Fails.

You Are Not Alone

"There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ."

Philosopher Blaise Pascal, penned this statement of truth over 400 years ago, and yet, it still rings profoundly true today.

Loneliness, without a doubt, is the most painful emotion we experience in this life. It has been said that babies can die from lack of touching. Marriages wither and die from a lack of emotional and physical intimacy. Lonely people all over the world desperately try to numb their pain and fill up the empty spaces in their aching hearts with hedonistic pleasures, wealth, entertainment, narcotics, food, alcohol, material things, and often times, with very bad relationships.

As the song says, "Looking for love in all the wrong places."

We often go to great lengths to escape our loneliness.  

Anything to dull the pain.

As I think back over the course of my life, the road is filled with monuments of the countless times I tried to fill up the lonely spaces in my own heart with other things and other people, only to discover in the aftermath, that my choices made in desperation left me feeling empty and even more lonely. Sadly, I also left a wake of emotional destruction in other people's lives.

I'm convinced that God, in His mercy, allowed me to go through my decades of loneliness and disappointment because that was the only way that I would see that the temporary things of this life can never truly satisfy me. I had to experience the truth that I have this God-shaped vacuum in my heart that can only be filled by Christ.

What about you?

Do you ache with loneliness and you are trying to fill up the empty spaces in your heart, but no matter what you try, you only feel more empty and alone?

Friend, I can truly tell you that God has filled those empty spaces in my own heart with His joy and peace. The emptiness and loneliness I experienced for the first 33 years of my life has been replaced with a hope and assurance that I have been set in an everlasting family whose Father is God. I have friends now who would literally take a bullet for me. My marriage has been healed and made new by the power of the love and forgiveness of God.

And that love and forgiveness of God is freely available to every person on this planet. You too can freely receive it through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

For me, I had to come to the end of my rope to see that nothing this world has to offer can ever satisfy.

Before I came to know God through Jesus Christ the Savior in 1993, I left my wife and traveled halfway around the world trying to 'find myself.'  The problem was, once I found myself, I didn't like what I found.

For my entire testimony please read "Our Story." 

http://marriage-miracles.blogspot.com/2011/10/our-story.html

All I can do is share what I have personally experienced. It is real, not just some words in an old black book. 

God the Heavenly Father loves you and He is alive and present, and He has openly revealed Himself to humanity through His Son Jesus Christ.

But to know Him, you have to invite Him into your heart.

Jesus said:

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come into Him and dine with him, and he with Me." - (Revelation 3:20)

God is knocking on the door of your heart, personally calling you by name.  But He will not kick the door down and force Himself on you.  You have to choose to open the door of your heart from the inside and invite Him to come in.

I can truly share with you that it is the most important decision that you will ever make.

And if you invited Christ to be your Savior once, but you haven't been talking with Him lately, He is also knocking on the door of your heart.  He wants to come in and dine with you.

Just call out to Jesus.  Talk to Him and share your heart with Him.

He loves you with an everlasting love.

     —Blessings to you.

—God is Love, and Love Never Fails.

Bloom Where You're Planted

Are you truly content with where God has you right now?

If you're like most people, you would probably have to answer "no" to that question.

Most people simply have not learned to be content, in whatever condition they are in. 

You are always dissatisfied with your position, or how you feel are being treated at work. Your car just isn't good enough any more. You'd feel you would be happier if you lived on the other side of town in a bigger house. Your church isn't living up to your expectations and now you're shopping for a better one. Your spouse or significant other just doesn't appreciate you enough and you feel that maybe another person might make you happier.

All the above examples have one root problem; self. 

And from self comes self-focus. 

The problem is, most of us are "me-monsters."

"It's all about me."

The photo of a rose flourishing in the midst of thorns is very telling. This is a symbol of someone who has learned to be content no matter what state they are in. They have surrendered their will to God, and have chosen to bloom where they have been planted—even though their life is surrounded by thorny circumstances. 

They are not constantly looking for a better situation. They are content with their station in life—thankful for what they do have—not disgruntled or dissatisfied over what they don't.

Which best describes you?

Are you truly content with where God has you right now?  Or are you constantly trying to 'fix the fix' that you feel you are in?

Did you ever stop to consider that God, who is sovereign, may have planted you where you are at for a reason? For His purpose? For your benefit? Or for the benefit of someone else?

One of my favorite passages in all of scripture is Psalm 1:1-3.

"Blessed is the man who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take, or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on His law day and night. That man is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields fruit in its season, and whose leaf does not wither—whatever he does prospers."

This passage describes a spiritually mature person who has chosen to enter in to God's rest—whose life is deeply rooted in Christ, as described in Psalm 1:3.  He or she is not constantly looking for a better gig in life, never satisfied or thankful for what they do have, easily up-rooted by trials, ready to bail at the first sign of difficulty. 

If you're always looking for a way out of the fix you feel that you are in, constantly seeking the path of least resistance, striving to escape the suffering and trials with which this life is wrought—your life is not deeply rooted spiritually. Your life is shallow. Your roots are just under the surface, planted in shifting sand, ready to be up-rooted and blown away at the first sign of adversity.  

You're exhausted.

Jesus said:

"Come to Me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." (Matthew 11:28-29)

To take Jesus' yoke upon yourself, you must choose to submit your life and will to Him in all things—even to where He has you in life right now—as difficult as that may be.  

He said "Learn from Me." 

Jesus did not try to escape His suffering. He embraced it, because of His love for you and for me. 

He said He will give us rest for our souls if we learn from Him. Rest in Him and be content with where He has you right now. Only then will you find rest for your soul. 

There is no rest in constantly striving to make your life or situation better.

Like a rose flourishing in the midst thorns—bloom where you're planted.

—God is Love and Love Never Fails.

Amazing Love

Whenever I find myself struggling—depressed, and disillusioned with my life, eventually, I am reminded that it was because I took my eyes off of Christ and instead, am focused on some crappy circumstances that I am temporarily suffering through.

What I keep forgetting, is that the crappy circumstances of this life are just that—temporary.

This always happens when I forget to be thankful for what I do have and for what God has done for me. 

The secret to experiencing true joy is all about remembering what Jesus did for me on the Cross and then constantly have an attitude of gratitude—thanking Him for what He did—despite my current circumstances.

I'm glad that we take communion on a regular basis at our church because I need to be reminded of what Jesus did by sacrificing Himself for me, because of God's amazing love for this lost world.

As I've said many times before, the root cause of most of our depression is due to an inordinate self-focus. So, take your eyes off yourself and your problems and set your heart on the risen Lord, Who loved you and gave Himself for you.

Last night I started reading a book on worship.  And unfortunately, like so many books on the topic, it's more of a "how to" book about methods or a prescription, than it is about the Person of Christ.

Worship is not about "how"—it's about Who.

It's all about Jesus.

The words from the following song always put worship in the right perspective:

"I'm forgiven, because You were forsaken.
I'm accepted, You were condemned.
And I'm alive and well, Your Spirit lives within me,
Because You died and rose again.

Amazing love, how can it be,
That You, my King would die for me?
Amazing love, I know it's true,
And it's my joy to honor You,
In all I do, I honor You.

Jesus You... are my King."

Listen to this amazing song here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwoCbcSXlSM 

How can that be?

Jesus said:

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved." - (John 3:16-17)

Remember Jesus today—what He did on the Cross for you—and then love Him enough to thank Him for it.

And then in all that you do, seek to honor Christ because you love Him.

     —Blessings to you.

—God is Love, and Love Never Fails.

A Double-Minded Man

"A double-minded man is unstable in all of his ways."

I read an article about double-mindedness this morning that basically stated: "being double-minded means you can't make a decision." 

And while that may at times be true, the inability—or more accurately—the refusal to make a decision, is only a symptom of being double-minded.

But what is the root of the problem?

Look at the photo of the snake above. It's a two-headed monster. One head wants to go south, while the other wants to go north, or, just stay where it's at. 

Two minds opposed to one another, always competing against each other.

That's being double-minded.

The apostle James writes:

"Consider it all as joy my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord, for he is a double-minded man—unstable in all of his ways." (James 1:2-8)

That's a very exposing and painful diagnosis of a double-minded man.  "Unstable in all of his ways."

I once heard an old pastor say: 

"Being double-minded is like being stuck straddling a barbed wire fence—one foot in the kingdom and one foot in the world."

That says it all.

When we surrender our lives to Christ, we have to be all-in.  We're either all-in the kingdom of God, or we're all-in the kingdom of this fallen world.

A double-minded man (or woman) is easily known by the fruit of their life. They are never happy or content with the situations in their life. Rarely, if ever, are they thankful for what they do have. Always murmuring and complaining, saying things like: "My job sucks!"  "I hate the teaching at this church!"  "Why don't they play the songs that I like!"  Etc, etc.

Never content with anything.

Further evidence of a double-minded person is they have little to no discipline or self-control. They don't take care of themselves. They secretly succumb to every lust or fleshly appetite. They claim to be a Christian but still live a totally worldly lifestyle. They can't manage their money. They are always late to work, school or church.  They wait until the last minute to do anything, and then do only the minimum required to get by. They talk a good game, but never follow through and actually take any action to do what they say.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Picture a big gold-plated throne. Now picture a person sitting on it.  And all around the foot of the throne, they have neatly arranged all the aspects of their life. Their job, their relationships or marriage, their money, their hobbies, their TV/entertainment time, their spiritual/church life, their responsibilities, and, oh yeah, God is placed around there somewhere—when (or if) they have time for Him.

This is the reality of the lives of many people who call themselves "christian."  

I am personally convicted by the still small voice of the Holy Spirit this morning, who is reminding me of God's Word which says:

"Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?  For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's." (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

It's 2:15 AM, and in my self-examination this morning, before God, I have to ask myself:  "Have I truly come down off the throne of my life, and surrendered all of my heart, mind and will to God?"

"Search me O' God and know my heart; try me and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23-24)

So I ask you today what I ask myself:  are you all-in?

My prayer is:

"Lord Jesus, I ask for Your forgiveness for all of the areas of my life that I have not surrendered to You, and I invite You once again to take the rightful place of Your Glory on the throne of my heart. May my life and body be a pleasing sacrifice to You.  I give it to You freely. I'm all-in.  Please give me the strength to do the things that I need to do and not just talk about them. In Your name I pray and give thanks."  

-Amen.

—God is Love, and Love Never Fails.