The Marriage Creed

"A new commandment I give to you: love one another—as I have loved you."

—Jesus

My wedding ring is a perfect picture of our marriage. 

After over twenty-six years, even though it has taken some hits, has some battle scars, and is missing a few gemstones; praise God—the circle remains unbroken.

This morning I was remembering a wedding gift that my parents gave us when we were first married.  It was a little plaque called "The Marriage Creed."  I have no idea what ever happened to it, but the message of the Marriage Creed has remained with us.  

I imagine in our frustration of trying to make a troubled marriage work, that the plaque probably got stuffed in a box somewhere and put away in the attic, because, no matter how hard we tried in our own strength and best intentions, we couldn't keep the 'ten commandments' of the marriage creed perfectly.

Without God's help and Him changing our hearts—we failed, and did so miserably.

Here are the timeless words that are inscribed on that little marriage plaque.

The Marriage Creed:

1.  Comfort Each Other

Provide a refuge and sanctuary for each other from the chill winds of the world. Your marriage is a hearth, from whence comes the peace, harmony and warmth of soul and spirit.

2.  Caress as You Would Be Caressed

Warm your loved one's body with your healing touch. Remember that as babies can die from a lack of touching, so can marriage wither from a lack of closeness.

3.  Be a Friend and a Partner

Friendship can be a peaceful island, separate and apart, in a world of turmoil and strife. Reflect upon the tranquility of the many future years you can share with a true friend and beware of becoming battling enemies under the same roof.

4.  Be Open With Each Other

Bind not yourselves in the secretness that causes suspicion and doubt. Trust and reveal yourselves to each other, even as the budding rose opens to reveal its fragrance and beauty.

5.  Listen To Each Other

And hear not only words, but also the non-language of tone, mood, and expression. Learn to listen to understand—rather than listening to argue.

6.  Respect Each Other

Remember that each is a person of flesh and blood, entitled to his or her own choices and mistakes. Each owns himself, and has the right to equality.

7.  Allow The Other To Be An Individual

Seek not to create for each other a new mold that can only fit with much discomfort and pain. Accept the other as they are, as you would have yourself accepted.

8.  Give Each Other Approval

Remember criticism divides, while compliments encourage confidence in the other. Hasten not to point out the other's mistakes, for each will soon discover his own.

9.  Cherish Your Union

Let no one come between your togetherness; not child, not friend, nor worldly goods. Yet maintain enough separateness to allow each other his—or her—own unique oneness.

10.  Love One Another

Love is your river of life—your eternal source of recreating yourselves. Above all else, love one another.

The heart of the message here is, unselfish love given sacrificially to one's spouse. "Prefer one another, and seek the good of each other over your own good."

For husbands, we are to lead in love.  Ephesians chapter 5:25-32 lines it out for us perfectly:

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church; for we are members of His body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery; but I am talking about Christ and the church."

So many husbands today are not giving themselves in love for their wives. 

Far too many men live as if their first "ministry" is their job.  This is so hurtful and destructive, and is not God's will.  Men, your first ministry before God is to sacrificially love and serve your wife.  Then your children come next (See # 9 in the Marriage Creed).  Everything else, including your job and/or any kind of "church ministry" comes after your wife and children.

Gentlemen; let the circle be unbroken. Let nothing come between you and your bride.

God gave you His own precious daughter—to be your wife to love and serve.  

And one day, we will all stand before Christ and give an account of how well we loved and served our wives with God's sacrificial love.

Lead courageously, lead compassionately, and lead in God's love.

Jesus said:

"A new commandment I give unto you:  Love one another—as I have loved you."

—God is Love, and Love Never Fails.