Being A Friend

"There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24)

A Band of Brothers.

The image of these soldiers—a Band of Brothers—carrying their battle-wounded friend to safety, deeply stirs my heart of what it truly means to have a friend, and to be a friend.

That true friend who sticks closer than a brother is the friend who will sit by your bedside when you are in the hospital dying of cancer.  He is the friend who will one day help carry your coffin and speak at your funeral service of what your friendship meant to him.  He is the friend who fills your car up with gas when you are unemployed and flat broke.  He is the friend who risks your anger when he stops by your house to see how you're doing, when you don't feel like talking to anyone. He is the friend who has earned the right through relationship, to tell it to you like it is, and speak the truth to you in love. He is the friend who has your back when you are under attack from an unseen enemy. He is the friend who would literally take a bullet for you.

He is the friend who sticks closer than a brother.

I have been fortunate in my life to have been blessed with a handful of true friends who truly stick closer than a brother.  They know who they are, and I have told them so.  I will be eternally grateful to God for bringing these godly men into my life.  I am a better man for having known them.

Because I have been blessed to have friends like this, I have, over the years, witnessed their actions and character and can gratefully speak of that here.

I.  A friend loves at all times. 

Even when I act like a jerk, my true friends don't take it personally and they let me vent.  Because of our relationship, they listen and hear my heart, and they don't judge me, or offer advice too quickly. When appropriate, they speak words of wisdom and encouragement to me, even admonishment at times when I need it, without hurling pat answers or religious platitudes at me. They accept me and value me as a friend.

II.  A friend is not easily offended.

A mature, humble man does not make everything about him.  If you tell him that he erred, he doesn't turn it back at you and tell you that you 'hurt his feelings.'  He accepts his personal responsibility and he apologizes.  He is not easily wounded.  He accepts admonishment with humility without getting defensive.  He possesses integrity, maturity and depth of character.

III.  A friend is not puffed up.

He is not arrogant and is not constantly trying to promote himself.  He seeks the good of others more than he seeks his own good. He esteems the needs of other people above his own.  He is slow to anger and quick to listen. He listens to you and does not talk at you, or constantly interrupt you when you are speaking.  What you have to say is important to him.

IV.  A friend keeps no record of wrongs.

He is quick to forgive and does not hold your mistakes and blunders against you.  He does not have a chip on his shoulder because six months ago you stepped on his toes without realizing it.  He doesn't give you the silent treatment until you apologize for something you've done.  If he thinks you have something against him he goes to you to reconcile the situation.  He does not hold a grudge. A friend does not keep score.

V.  A friend keeps his word.

If he tells you he will do something, he does it.  He says what he means and he means what he says. A friend does not make shallow promises and then fail to keep them.  He has integrity.  He is dependable and reliable.  He does not make lame excuses. You can always count on him.

VI.  A friend always has your back.

He prays for you when you are going through trials and deep water. He calls you to see how you are doing when it's not always convenient for him to call. If he sees someone who even smells like a threat to your wife and family, he is there to protect and to serve.  He is in the foxhole of life with you and would take a bullet for you without hesitation.  He will warn you if he sees you heading into harms way. He "has your six."

VII.  A friend spends time with you.

He doesn't think being a "Friend" simply means having you and 200 other people on his 'face-book' friends list while never actually having a conversation with you.  A friend makes time for his friend.  He invites you to grab lunch, or drive up a mountain road on a Saturday morning. A friend helps you move without being asked ten times.  He invests his time, care and love, to 'be' a friend to you. A friend is more of a giver than a taker.

A friend realizes that to have a friend you have to be a friend.  And that relationships are a two-way street.  If you don't invest yourself in the friendship, you will get nothing out of it in return.

During the Battle of the Nile in 1798, Admiral Horatio Nelson referred to the captains under his command as his "Band of Brothers." One of Nelson's earliest uses of the phrase is in a letter written shortly after the Spanish entry into the war. Nelson, eager for action, had hoped to be given command of a squadron cruising off the Spanish coast, but was passed over. Dismayed he wrote of his indignation and disappointment, but said of his men:

"Yet, if I know my own thoughts, it is not for myself, or on my own account chiefly, that I feel the sting and the disappointment. No. It is for my brave officers; for my noble-minded friends and comrades. Such a gallant set of fellows! Such a band of brothers! My heart swells at the thought of them."

A friend is in the battle for his friends more than he is for himself.

      -The friend who sticks closer than a brother.

I desire to be more of a friend like this to my friends.

—God is Love and Love Never Fails.

Almost Home

Coming home from a long trip, it's always that last 39 miles that seem the longest.

But, we've been down this road before. We know the way. 

Almost home. 

When you're 500 miles out, you don't usually see any road signs telling how far it is to your destination.  But as you get closer, a sign appears every so often.  And the closer you get, the signs begin to show up more frequently.  Then as you get really close, the signs start to appear every couple of miles. You're almost home.

In the race of life, when you first jump off the starting blocks, you come out sprinting like a race horse.  You don't feel like anything could ever slow you down.  Even though the finish line is far off in the distance, you plan to win and get there first.  You reach for the prize.  Nothing's going to stop you. The idea that you may have to crawl across the finish line is an insult to you.

But as I continue to run this race—day after week, after month, after year, I am painfully aware that I am in fact slowing down.  Some days I get very weary.  I know I'm not alone in feeling like throwing in the towel at times when things are at their worst. But quitting is simply not an option. 

The prize is far too grand. 

So, I run the race.  And I'll keep running at whatever pace I am empowered to run.

If you feel like quitting today—throwing in the towel; don't give up.  You're not in this alone.

You've come all this way.   The end is in sight.  The finish line is just ahead.   Don't quit.  

You still have a little strength left. 

Jesus gives the following encouragement to His people in the last days:

"See, I have set before you an open door, and no one can shut it; for you have a little strength, have kept My word, and have not denied My name. Because you have kept My command to persevere, I also will keep you from the hour of trial which shall come upon the whole world, to test those who dwell on the earth.  Behold,  I am coming quickly!  Hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown." (Rev 3:8-11)

We will finish the race together.  That was predetermined long ago, before the world was.  It's a done deal.

And whether we crawl across the finish line like a broken down retired race horse, or sprinting to the tape like a young champion, we will finish the race, together.

We have been commanded to persevere.  And with the command comes empowerment.  Power to persevere and endure.  Power that comes in, that is from outside of ourselves and is greater than we are.

Power to finish the race.

The One who opens doors that no man can shut has set an open door before us, and our destiny is to enter in through that open door.

So don't give up, you will make it.  Just don't quit... the prize is far too grand.

We're almost home.

—God is Love and Love Never Fails.



The Promise Of New Life

    Image ©Mark Faulkner 2011

The problem with winter is not that it's so cold—but that it is so long.

My soul longs for that wonderful season when everything becomes alive once again—bursting with the amazing aromas and colors of spring. A time when the sky is never more blue. And the clouds never so bold and dazzling white.  That wonderful time when you can leave your windows open at night and drift away into slumber on the soft breezes of April blossoms and May showers. A time when there are more shades of green being unveiled than you knew even existed.

A time of hope and renewal—and once again... the promise of new life.

In your marriage, your heart and your life are you suffering through the long, dark, cold days of winter? 

Please, fellow sojourner, try to hold on for just a little while longer; for there is hope—Spring is coming. 

A line from one of my favorite movies goes like this:

"There were two farmers.  Both desperately prayed for rain.  But only one farmer prepared his field to receive it.  Which farmer are you?"

How do you prepare your field to receive the rains of spring?

First, you have to break up the fallow ground—the hard packed soil that cannot receive seed in it's present state.  Seed cannot be planted and take root in soil that is not broken up.

Next, you have to plant the seed.  You feed it with nutrients, being on guard for parasites and pests that will snatch up and destroy what you have planted.

Then you wait.

And wait.

You cannot make it rain—all you can do is pray for rain.

"Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain." (James 5:7)

Here in the Pacific Northwest, the snows and dormancy of winter are part of the cycle of life.  Snow falls in the mountains, melting at the first hint of spring, tiny rivulets of water flow down to form creeks, which flow into mighty rivers; ultimately joining together to arrive at the Pacific Ocean.  As the season of winter approaches, storms form in the ocean and rise above the Cascades, which blanket the mountains with fresh snow, and thus begins the cycle of life once again.

Nearly three thousand years ago the Hebrew prophet Isaiah wrote: 

“For as the rain comes down,

And the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it."

(Isaiah 55: 10-11)

Here is an encouraging passage of scripture that personally has become very meaningful to my wife and I:

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end."  (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

We cannot see the Life-giving seeds that God has planted in the broken soil of men's and women's hearts.  We can only prepare our own field, and we pray to the Rain Maker for His rain. 

And then we wait. 

Winter is almost over.  The night is far spent.  And though our sorrow may last for the night, joy comes in the morning.

Spring is coming!

—God is Love and Love Never Fails.