Being A Friend

"There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24)

A Band of Brothers.

The image of these soldiers—a Band of Brothers—carrying their battle-wounded friend to safety, deeply stirs my heart of what it truly means to have a friend, and to be a friend.

That true friend who sticks closer than a brother is the friend who will sit by your bedside when you are in the hospital dying of cancer.  He is the friend who will one day help carry your coffin and speak at your funeral service of what your friendship meant to him.  He is the friend who fills your car up with gas when you are unemployed and flat broke.  He is the friend who risks your anger when he stops by your house to see how you're doing, when you don't feel like talking to anyone. He is the friend who has earned the right through relationship, to tell it to you like it is, and speak the truth to you in love. He is the friend who has your back when you are under attack from an unseen enemy. He is the friend who would literally take a bullet for you.

He is the friend who sticks closer than a brother.

I have been fortunate in my life to have been blessed with a handful of true friends who truly stick closer than a brother.  They know who they are, and I have told them so.  I will be eternally grateful to God for bringing these godly men into my life.  I am a better man for having known them.

Because I have been blessed to have friends like this, I have, over the years, witnessed their actions and character and can gratefully speak of that here.

I.  A friend loves at all times. 

Even when I act like a jerk, my true friends don't take it personally and they let me vent.  Because of our relationship, they listen and hear my heart, and they don't judge me, or offer advice too quickly. When appropriate, they speak words of wisdom and encouragement to me, even admonishment at times when I need it, without hurling pat answers or religious platitudes at me. They accept me and value me as a friend.

II.  A friend is not easily offended.

A mature, humble man does not make everything about him.  If you tell him that he erred, he doesn't turn it back at you and tell you that you 'hurt his feelings.'  He accepts his personal responsibility and he apologizes.  He is not easily wounded.  He accepts admonishment with humility without getting defensive.  He possesses integrity, maturity and depth of character.

III.  A friend is not puffed up.

He is not arrogant and is not constantly trying to promote himself.  He seeks the good of others more than he seeks his own good. He esteems the needs of other people above his own.  He is slow to anger and quick to listen. He listens to you and does not talk at you, or constantly interrupt you when you are speaking.  What you have to say is important to him.

IV.  A friend keeps no record of wrongs.

He is quick to forgive and does not hold your mistakes and blunders against you.  He does not have a chip on his shoulder because six months ago you stepped on his toes without realizing it.  He doesn't give you the silent treatment until you apologize for something you've done.  If he thinks you have something against him he goes to you to reconcile the situation.  He does not hold a grudge. A friend does not keep score.

V.  A friend keeps his word.

If he tells you he will do something, he does it.  He says what he means and he means what he says. A friend does not make shallow promises and then fail to keep them.  He has integrity.  He is dependable and reliable.  He does not make lame excuses. You can always count on him.

VI.  A friend always has your back.

He prays for you when you are going through trials and deep water. He calls you to see how you are doing when it's not always convenient for him to call. If he sees someone who even smells like a threat to your wife and family, he is there to protect and to serve.  He is in the foxhole of life with you and would take a bullet for you without hesitation.  He will warn you if he sees you heading into harms way. He "has your six."

VII.  A friend spends time with you.

He doesn't think being a "Friend" simply means having you and 200 other people on his 'face-book' friends list while never actually having a conversation with you.  A friend makes time for his friend.  He invites you to grab lunch, or drive up a mountain road on a Saturday morning. A friend helps you move without being asked ten times.  He invests his time, care and love, to 'be' a friend to you. A friend is more of a giver than a taker.

A friend realizes that to have a friend you have to be a friend.  And that relationships are a two-way street.  If you don't invest yourself in the friendship, you will get nothing out of it in return.

During the Battle of the Nile in 1798, Admiral Horatio Nelson referred to the captains under his command as his "Band of Brothers." One of Nelson's earliest uses of the phrase is in a letter written shortly after the Spanish entry into the war. Nelson, eager for action, had hoped to be given command of a squadron cruising off the Spanish coast, but was passed over. Dismayed he wrote of his indignation and disappointment, but said of his men:

"Yet, if I know my own thoughts, it is not for myself, or on my own account chiefly, that I feel the sting and the disappointment. No. It is for my brave officers; for my noble-minded friends and comrades. Such a gallant set of fellows! Such a band of brothers! My heart swells at the thought of them."

A friend is in the battle for his friends more than he is for himself.

      -The friend who sticks closer than a brother.

I desire to be more of a friend like this to my friends.

—God is Love and Love Never Fails.