Photo ©Mark Faulkner 2009
Amazing... how suddenly the seasons of life can change.
I am slowly, painfully, learning to be careful of the expectations I have of people, situations, and outcomes.
In fact, the one constant is that things are constantly changing. And it is when I think I have things figured out, and I think I know what people are going to do, and how things will turn out, that the unexpected happens.
For years I have been hearing the phrase "stay loose in the saddle." And I continue to learn why that is so important. Things are continuously changing. The unexpected happens. Things don't always go according to my plan.
The things of this life are all just seasons. And seasons change.
It's all about being content with how things are right now. Being thankful for the people in your life today, for the job you have, and for all the good things in your life. Enjoy the relationships you have right now, and make the most of the time you have today. Because you never know when things are going to change. People move away, take new jobs, go in different directions. I am learning to simply expect this to happen.
It is what it is.
But knowing all this, that unexpected things happen, why do I get so up-ended when things don't go how I think they will? Maybe it's because I am more of a control freak than I thought I was?
We have to let people be who they are. The most uncomfortable situation we can put someone in is to try to force them into the mold of our expectations. People have to choose their own path, and they may not want to take the advice we offer them. We may think we know what is best for someone, and give them what we believe is sound advice from our point of view. But don't be surprised when people do the opposite. Even when we think they are making the worst possible choice, ultimately, it is their choice to make.
You can't live another person's life for them.
When you truly love someone, it's okay to let them know you don't agree with the choices they make. But let them know that even though you disagree with them, you're still going to be there for them.
I'm learning that following my heart is not always a good thing, because my heart can deceive me. I need to let my mind lead my heart. The heart wants what the heart wants, but, in my experience, that is definitely not always a good thing. Not all the desires of my heart are pure, nor are they God's will for me. I have to be very discerning, and ask God for His wisdom.
"My son, if you receive my words, and treasure my commands within you, so that you incline your ear to wisdom, and apply your heart to understanding; yes, if you cry out for discernment, and lift up your voice for understanding, if you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures; then you will understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding; He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk uprightly; He guards the paths of justice, and preserves the way of His saints. Then you will understand righteousness and justice, equity and every good path. When wisdom enters your heart, and knowledge is pleasant to your soul, Discretion will preserve you; Understanding will keep you." (Proverbs 2:1-11)
Ultimately, God works it all out—He works all things together for good for those who love Him, and are called according to His purpose. Even when we choose the wrong path, God will graciously show us where we erred, and point us back to the path He has for us. But we have to have our ears open to hear His voice, and the soil of our heart must be soft and broken up so that His seeds of wisdom may land there and take root, and bear much fruit to Him.
Stay loose in the saddle.
When you choose a path that God shows you was the wrong choice, turn from your error and get back on track with where He placed you. And when someone you love does the opposite of what you recommended they do, keep loving and encouraging them. It is when we make a poor choice and God shows us our error, that we need true friends to come alongside us and love us through the season of healing that we will need to walk through.
It's wonderful that we don't have to walk that path alone.
"There is a friend sticks closer than a brother."
(This is a post I originally published in 2010, but seemed good to publish here again today...)
—God is Love and Love Never Fails.
