Going Through The Motions

Does your life feel like you are sitting on a merry-go-round, going in circles, and you're really not getting anywhere?

It makes me dizzy just thinking about the many years past, when my wife and I were going through the motions in our marriage—not really participating, but were just "along for the ride" to see what we could get out of the deal.  

I don't ever want to go back to that kind of marriage.

So what happens to us? 

Why do we get in such a routine, or rut, where our marriage feels like all we do is get up every morning, punch the time card, and put in our eight hours, then check out at night, with nothing more to look forward to the next day than just to get up and do it all over again?

May I suggest that it's because we tend to so easily forget what a blessing from God that our spouse is, and we have reverted back to the me-monster that we once were. 

So, why is it so hard?  Why won't that monster die once-and-for-all?

Because we keep feeding him.

His name is Self.

In The Love Chapter—1 Corinthians 13—we see the answer:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking..."

There it is—Love is not self-seeking. 

Selfishness is childish.  After all, what is one of the first words most little children learn?   "Mine!"  For those who have grown up, and matured spiritually—in love; we stop feeding the me-monster and we put away the childishness of self.  Paul goes on to say:

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things."

Those who truly love God and who love others, put away the childishness of being selfish. Looking at Paul's exhortation to his Corinthian brothers and sisters, immaturity manifests itself in always speaking about yourself and thinking of yourself first.  But as Paul said, "When I became a man, I put away childish things" (or childishness).

Love is a choice.

You have to choose to put away selfishness and love others—particularly your spouse—above your childish self-love. 

Even more important than marriage to one's spouse, is our marriage to the Lord.   As the Bride of Christ, our Bridegroom is Jesus.  He deserves and commands our complete devotion, love and obedience.  Are you giving Him your best, and all of your heart?  Or does He merely get the left-overs, after you have spent most of your time, energy and resources on seeking to please yourself?

Jesus deserves more than our table scraps.

Those who know me may be tired of hearing me say this, but all of our problems in life and especially our problems in marriage—are merely symptoms of our relationship (or lack of relationship) with God. The root is based on our relationship. Everything else that happens—good or bad—is the fruit of that relationship.

The fruit comes from the root—so, examine your fruit. Then consider the condition of your relationship.

I've talked a lot in this blog about returning to our First Love:  Jesus.

If you've strayed from Him and are stuck on the merry-go-round of selfishness, jump off and run back to Jesus. 

Once you begin to love Him again with all of your heart, mind, soul and strength, the result will be that your relationship with your spouse will flourish and bear fruit again—like a vineyard that has been carefully tended, nourished and watered.

Love one another—and enjoy the fruit.

—God is Love and Love Never Fails.