"Beloved."
That was the single word my Mom had inscribed on my Dad's memorial stone, just below his name, and the year of his birth and death.
She spoke of the unconditional love one has for her beloved;
"A love given, not sought."
That's a challenging concept for most of us.
Our self-absorbed world is flooded with self-help books, with self-focused tiles such as, "Getting The Love That You Want." And so it's foreign to most, to hear someone speak of true unconditional love.
Let's face it, for most of us, our love is conditional.
"I'll love you as long as you meet all my needs and give me what I want."
"Me, Me, Me!" It's all about me.
The following verses from the Love Chapter; 1 Corinthians 13, help to define unconditional love:
For me, some of the stand outs on unconditional love in these verses are:
- Love suffers long and is kind.
- Love does not seek its own.
- Love thinks no evil.
- Love endures all things.
Love suffers long and is kind. If you truly love someone, you are long-suffering and kind to them, even when it's not reciprocated. Unconditional love is rarely convenient. Love suffers through times of stress, strife, and those empty seasons when you feel your beloved is distant. But you may not know all that he or she is going through. Have grace for them, because you have not walked in their shoes. You don't know exactly what they are feeling. Show God's mercy and compassion for them always.
Love is not self-seeking. Your desire should be to give more than to receive. Your heart wants to do all you can to meet your beloved's needs, instead of always looking to have your own needs met. Having strict and lofty expectations of your beloved is not love. Love does not create a mould of unrealistic expectations and then try to force your spouse to fit into it. Love esteems the needs of your beloved above your own needs. A self-seeking person always feels dissatisfied and disappointed because your mate can never live up to your selfish list of impossible expectations. It's all about "you" and that's not unconditional love.
Love thinks no evil. When your beloved is angry, and shouting, it's not because they are a bad person. They may just be going through a difficult time and they're on emotional overload. When they stumble and backslide, it's not because they are "evil." The flesh is weak. We all stumble and make mistakes. The truth is, we all have a dual nature: we live in fleshly, fallen bodies, and our old sinful flesh is ever-present. Where do you think all of your own bad thoughts, lust, and hatred for people comes from? Our spirit has been born again, and made new. But nothing good resides in our flesh. What did the Apostle Paul, great man of faith, say about himself?
Paul also said, "Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh." (2 Corinthians 5:16)
When your beloved stumbles and sins, pray for them. Love them. Encourage them. Be patient with them. We're all struggling with the flesh. It's a constant battle. Don't accuse them of being an evil person. We are all under constant attack from an unseen Enemy, who only comes to steal, to kill, and to destroy. (John 10:10). We need to show constant grace to one another.
But also consider, are there ways that you are contributing to your spouse's angst, and you need to repent of these? It is said that the countenance of a man's wife, is a direct reflection of how well he is loving her, (or not).
Remember guys: without love, a woman reacts without respect. And ladies: without respect, a man reacts without love. For more on this, please read, "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs.
Loves endures all things. You may have areas of your life, marriage, or relationships, that have never lived to up to all that you had hoped they might one day become. I think most people could probably testify to this. But think about why God placed you here, in this life. Why He brought you together with the husband or wife that you now have. When we get out of the "It's all about Me" mindset, and look at the bigger picture, I think we will begin to see that God placed us here for His purposes, and to fulfill His will. When we begin to get an eternal perspective, it becomes less about "How is my spouse treating me? and it becomes more about, "How can I bless and serve God's own daughter or son."
In eternity, my wife is going to be my sister in Christ. Once we leave this earth we are no longer husband and wife. She does not belong to me. She belongs to God. And He has given me this amazing privilege and calling of serving His own precious daughter. Once this was revealed to me, it changed my whole perspective on marriage.
When I stand before the Lord at the Judgment Seat of Christ, as a son of God, I will give an account to Jesus, of how well I loved and served His daughter while I was on the earth. How did I treat her? Did I do right by her, by obeying what His Word says about how I am to treat her as my wife?
The Bible says I am to esteem her needs above my own, and to prefer her and honor her. To love her as Christ loved the Church. To protect, provide for, and serve her. To pray for her, listen to her, and dwell with her with understanding. To be patient. To not be bitter towards her. To forgive. To show mercy.
And to not regard her according to the flesh any longer. We are to regard one another according to the finished person that God made each of us to ultimately be. Not according to the imperfect, struggling person, who is currently weak in the flesh, and who sometimes stumbles and falls. But to do this, we must be long-suffering, kind, and endure all things.
We will disappoint each other in this life. None of us can ever live up to peoples impossible human expectations. We will make mistakes. We will stumble. We will fall. But love endures all things.
Jesus said:
"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends." (John 15:13)
But also consider, are there ways that you are contributing to your spouse's angst, and you need to repent of these? It is said that the countenance of a man's wife, is a direct reflection of how well he is loving her, (or not).
Remember guys: without love, a woman reacts without respect. And ladies: without respect, a man reacts without love. For more on this, please read, "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs.
Loves endures all things. You may have areas of your life, marriage, or relationships, that have never lived to up to all that you had hoped they might one day become. I think most people could probably testify to this. But think about why God placed you here, in this life. Why He brought you together with the husband or wife that you now have. When we get out of the "It's all about Me" mindset, and look at the bigger picture, I think we will begin to see that God placed us here for His purposes, and to fulfill His will. When we begin to get an eternal perspective, it becomes less about "How is my spouse treating me? and it becomes more about, "How can I bless and serve God's own daughter or son."
In eternity, my wife is going to be my sister in Christ. Once we leave this earth we are no longer husband and wife. She does not belong to me. She belongs to God. And He has given me this amazing privilege and calling of serving His own precious daughter. Once this was revealed to me, it changed my whole perspective on marriage.
When I stand before the Lord at the Judgment Seat of Christ, as a son of God, I will give an account to Jesus, of how well I loved and served His daughter while I was on the earth. How did I treat her? Did I do right by her, by obeying what His Word says about how I am to treat her as my wife?
The Bible says I am to esteem her needs above my own, and to prefer her and honor her. To love her as Christ loved the Church. To protect, provide for, and serve her. To pray for her, listen to her, and dwell with her with understanding. To be patient. To not be bitter towards her. To forgive. To show mercy.
And to not regard her according to the flesh any longer. We are to regard one another according to the finished person that God made each of us to ultimately be. Not according to the imperfect, struggling person, who is currently weak in the flesh, and who sometimes stumbles and falls. But to do this, we must be long-suffering, kind, and endure all things.
We will disappoint each other in this life. None of us can ever live up to peoples impossible human expectations. We will make mistakes. We will stumble. We will fall. But love endures all things.
Jesus said:
"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends." (John 15:13)
Jesus calls us friends and He laid down His very life for us.
And He said, "Love one another as I have loved you."
Sacrificial love.
This is unconditional love.
—God is love and Love Never Fails.
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