Out of the Mouth Defilement Comes

"If you don't have something good to say about someone, don't say anything at all."

My mom and dad used to say this to us a lot when we were kids, though, my dad said it much more sternly, as in: "If you don't have anything good to say, then keep your mouth shut!" 

For as much as I used to hear this as a kid, I must have really needed to hear it. 

Still do sometimes, sad to say.

What is it about our human nature that makes it so easy, so desirable, to talk trash about another person?

I don't want to be that man anymore.

The writer of the book of Hebrews said it this way:

"Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled..."  (Heb 12:14-16)

When we barf out our bitterness and criticize or trash talk another person, all those around us, with whom we felt it absolutely necessary to tell and "confide in", become defiled by the puke that spews out of our mouths.  

From the bitter criticism and complaining that pours out of our mouth—many are defiled.  The word defiled literally means: "To sully or taint, that is, contaminate; (ceremonially or morally)."   It's like verbally vomiting on someone.  

Where does such disgusting, contaminating bitterness originate?

Jesus said:

"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."  (Luke 6:45-46)

There it is. 

Whenever I allow myself to become critical of someone else, and that bitter, critical spirit gets down into my heart, my human nature has this sick need to want to "share my feelings" about that person with others.  It's like, we need to make our friends 'partners' in our critical disapproval of the other person. 

Misery loves company.

It's awful.   And it defiles—it contaminates—all those with whom we feel that we must "share our feelings."

And, have you ever noticed when someone you're with feels the need to spew out their criticism of someone else to you, just how easy it is to get caught up in the same kind of bitter talk?   It's uncanny.   Why on earth do we do this?

The Bible says life and death are in the power of the tongue.  The apostle James refers to this fiery little member in our mouths as the Untameable Tongue.

"For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a complete man, able also to bridle the whole body.  Indeed, we put bits in horses’ mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!  And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison."  (James 3:2-8)

Very strong language.  But spot-on.

Jesus taught that it's what comes out of a man's mouth that defiles him—not by what we eat or drink.  And what comes out of my mouth springs forth from the abundance of what's in my heart.  We're known by our fruit.

So, what's been coming out of your mouth lately about others?  Cursing?  Or blessing?

Prior to becoming king himself, David refused to harm or condemn the reigning king, Saul, because, even though Saul's deeds were evil, he was still God's anointed king: 

"Look, this day your eyes have seen that the LORD delivered you today into my hand in the cave, and someone urged me to kill you. But my eye spared you, and I said, ‘I will not stretch out my hand against my lord, for he is the LORD’s anointed."  (1 Samuel 24:10)

Members of Moses' own family spoke against him, criticizing his God-appointed leadership. God rebuked Aaron and Miriam for this, even causing Miriam to have Leprosy:

"The LORD said,  "I speak with him face to face, even plainly, and not in dark sayings; and he sees the form of the LORD. Why then were you not afraid to speak against My servant Moses? So the anger of the LORD was aroused against them, and He departed. And when the cloud departed from above the tabernacle, suddenly Miriam became leprous, as white as snow. Then Aaron turned toward Miriam, and there she was, a leper.”  (Numbers 12:8)

When we speak against, criticize, and voice our displeasure or disappointment with someone in leadership whom God has raised up, we're essentially criticizing God, and His authority.  Those who do this will not be held guiltless.

Finally, speaking words of bitterness against someone else to others, thereby causing them to become defiled, is not demonstrating love.  Quite the opposite. When we do anything that would knowingly cause a brother or sister to stumble, to be made weak, or to be offended, it is entirely selfish.

The apostle Paul wrote:

"It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles, or is offended, or is made weak."  (Romans 14:21)

Not trying to take any of the responsibility off of myself—but over the years, several people that I am close to have stumbled me greatly at times by sharing their 'feelings' with with me regarding the troubles or difficulties they have had working for a very demanding employer they served.  I should have stopped them and told them that I could not bear to hear what they were telling me about their leader, and that they should instead speak blessing over him, and pray for the man, and not speak against the Lord's anointed.  But, to my shame, I went right along with it, and commiserated with them, essentially approving of what they were saying by my silence—by not stopping and admonishing them. 

Again, this is to my shame.

The most damaging aspect of this is that when we speak harshly against someone else—and by our bitterness many others become defiled—those seeds of bitterness get planted in others like a cancer, and it spreads to others; thereby defiling many in the whole sick process. 

This is greatly to my shame, in that, when my friends shared their feelings (and bitterness) with me regarding what they felt was mistreatment from their leader, not only was I defiled, but then I exercised this sick need I had to go tell many others about the wrongs 'unjustly' committed against my friends by this "unfair" leader.  I was spreading the cancer. I was perpetuating the problem.  And by my sin, many others were defiled.  And it only continued to spread.

This cancerous, defiling sin can ruin an entire community of people.  It's divisive. It's sick.  It's a cancer. 

It kills.

I owe a huge apology to the many people I have defiled by the root of bitterness that I had—by which, I opened my big mouth and vomited all my bitterness onto you.  I am sorry.  I stumbled, contaminated and defiled you.  Please forgive me. 

And to my friends who stumbled and defiled me by sharing their bitter or disappointed feelings with me about your leader—I forgive you.  But I also want to encourage you to take this before God, confess it, and repent of it, and desire to be changed—to be different.  To not want to be 'that man' any more.

And may God forgive me for speaking bitterness against all the other people, and against those in leadeship, that I have spoken against and criticized.

Last night as I lay in bed, unable to sleep, the full weight of just how much I have sinned in this area hit me like a freight train.  And of all the many people I have defiled and contaminated in this way, by the critical bitterness that came from within my hard heart, and spewed out through my big mouth.  But I brought it before the Lord and asked Him to change my heart, and clean my heart, from the inside out.

I don't want to be that bitter, defiling man any more.

Fortunately, God's promise to us from 1 John 1:8-9 is:

"If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Thank You Lord Jesus, for Your love, grace, mercy and forgiveness.

—God is Love, and Love Never Fails.

Love Never Fails

What an intense, crazy, and amazing year this has been...

Last September, after I lost my job, I felt led to start this blog, and called it "Marriage-Miracles", because God miraculously healed my own marriage and He gave us an amazing testimony of the power of His love and forgiveness to share, which has encouraged many people over the years.

Over the last few months much of what was on my heart to write about has not specifically addressed marriage, although the content certainly can have application to marriage, in that I tend to deal with topics such as selfishness, sacrifice, and forgiveness. However, I've had an increasing sense of urgency that leads me to look at and consider the bigger picture in life, and not just at marriage issues.

It's time to change things up a bit.

As words can carry great meaning, I have for several months, contemplated the title of this blog, and was concerned that the title, "Marriage Miracles" may have been a potential hindrance to people who are single or divorced.  I don't want anyone to feel excluded and have seen this happen in some Christian circles where there is such a heavy focus on families and marriages, that single or divorced people tend to feel slighted, or left out.  That is not, nor has it ever been, the intention of this blog.

So, after much careful deliberation, I decided to change the title of my blog to "Love Never Fails." The title is universal. No one is excluded from receiving the freely available gift of God's love through Jesus Christ the Savior.

Also, even though there is a desperate need for encouragement, help and resources for people who are struggling in their marriages, we, as followers of Christ, have a much Bigger Picture to consider, as sojourners who are only temporarily on this earth. 

It is my strong, personal conviction by what we read in the pages of Scripture, as well as the personal trials and experiences we have had, that we truly do have an unseen Enemy who the Bible says, "Only comes to steal, kill and destroy." 

And from our experiences, and from those of many other people—some of whom are living broken, defeated, joy-less lives—we believe that most people are living like they do not believe that their Adversary even exists. 

The Bible says,

"Your adversary the devil, roams about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour." 

But, if we're being honest about it, most of us are on spiritual auto-pilot, carrying on in "business-as-usual" lives, like we don't believe that we truly are at war—as if we don't really have an unseen Enemy who actually comes to steal, to kill and to destroy.

Part of my focus go-forward in this blog, will be to consistently remind my fellow followers of Christ that we do indeed have an Enemy who never sleeps—who only comes to kill, to steal and to destroy.

And that we must spiritually fight for our marriages, for our children, for our families—for our lives.  As my friend Craig has often reminded me, this is life or death. 

But, praise God, we are not in this alone. 

God's Word says that we are to be strong and courageous and to not be afraid, because our God is with us wherever we go.  He will never leave us or forsake us.  And He sent His Holy Spirit—the Comforter—to strengthen and protect us, and to bring to our remembrance all the things that Jesus has said.

Truly, if God is for us, no one can be against us.

Another revolutionary truth that I was recently encouraged by, is that our hearts are good—our hearts do matter to God.  

Yes, in the Old Testament, it does say (of unrepentant man), “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?" (Genesis 6:5, Jeremiah 17:9).

But that's not the end of the story. 

Not by a long shot.

Fellow Christian—your heart is good.

For all those who truly have been Born Again—by the blood and Spirit of Jesus Christ—He has given us a new heart—the deep innermost place within us where God now dwells, in all those who have freely invited Him in and received Him as Savior and Lord.

God has given us a new heart and a regenerated spirit:

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you."  (Ezekiel 36:26)

However, our Enemy tries to constantly accuse us and condemn us, trying to get us to buy into his lie that our hearts are still continuously wicked.  But that is a lie, and Satan is the father of a lie.

The old sinful nature—the flesh—is wicked, and it wars against the spirit.  The two are contrary to one another.  But the same power—the same Spirit, who raised Christ from the grave—dwells in you and in me, for all those who are in Christ. 

"He whom the Son has set free, is free indeed."  (John 8:36)

Your heart is now good, and your heart truly does matter to God, if indeed Christ dwells in you by faith.

You are not in this alone.

—God is Love, and Love Never Fails.

P.S.  the URL for Love Never Fails is still: 

     http://marriage-miracles.blogspot.com/

Our Story

Here is how our story began...

On the last day of high school, I sat next to this beautiful girl with the most amazing smile and sparkling eyes that I had ever seen... 

I was smitten.

We knew each other only casually at school, and she always smiled at me and we said "hi" as we passed each other in the hall between classes.  I had always wanted to talk to her more, but I was super shy.

We didn't see each other after graduation until about six years later, when we were each out with a friend and 'happened' to bump into each other at a local venue that had music and dancing.  We danced and laughed and really connected that night.  We ended up talking in her car and watched the sun come up together.

Something magical happened that night.

Fast forward a year or so.  We had dated and experienced both exhilarating and tumultuous times together, even breaking up and then getting back together.  We were both very passionate, head-strong people who loved life and wanted to be together, but wanted our independence as well.  Eventually we decided to move in together, and after asking her to marry me four times, she finally said "yes" and we got married at a justice of the peace.

And so we began our life together—husband and wife.

We were so in love. Nothing could phase us. We were unstoppable.  Being a newlywed surpassed my wildest expectations.  I had never felt this way before, and never had someone who I loved so much, or who loved me like she did.  We were confident that we would be this way forever—head over heels in love with each other.

The 'honeymoon' started to fade about six months later. 

The two love birds who were inseparable were now arguing and there was a lot of tension between us.  I was dumb founded. Our marriage became a wild roller coaster ride.  One minute it was loving, passionate and close.  The next, we were screaming at each other, both wondering why we ever got married in the first place?

How could this be happening?

Then I started to discover that most of the married people that we knew were more or less on this same kind of marriage roller coaster.  I never dreamed this would happen with us.  I was very bewildered by it all. But we loved each other and were committed to working on our issues.  But communicating was so hard. 

What were we doing wrong?

All my life I had been a 'people pleaser' and because I loved my wife I was always doing nice things for her.  At the time I truly thought I was doing these things unconditionally because I loved my wife and wanted to please her. But I learned much later on about myself that I always had selfish expectations when I did 'nice things' for my wife, and it was not unconditional. 

I always had a selfish agenda.

As the next couple of years passed, we became more at odds with each other. We couldn't effectively communicate.  There were misunderstandings daily.  We were both very disillusioned with the marriage.

We headed down that path that so many couples go down... having thoughts of ending the marriage.  We tried to fill up the empty places in our hearts by buying a big new house and filling it with stuff to cover the pain and heartache of a dying marriage.  But the newness of the material stuff faded quickly and we were failing miserably in our marriage.

Was this marriage really going to end?  Was there any hope for us?

I wish I could say that after this things really started to get better.  But they only got worse. 

Much worse.

About this time I was starting to lose hope that our marriage would ever improve, and in the midst of this extremely difficult period, my father passed away.  It's an understatement to say that I 'went south.'

Seemingly by 'accident' I began a friendship with a woman that I worked with.  It all seemed very innocent at the time but it soon led to my beginning an adulterous relationship with this other woman.  I decided to move out of our home and thus began a nearly decade-long period of seven separations and two divorce proceedings between my wife and I.  

We would get back together and things seemed fine at first, but then quickly went back to the crazy roller coaster that they were before.  I was trying to force my wife to change to how I wanted her to be, and when she refused, I would place ultimatums on her, and then leave again when she didn't do what I wanted her to do.   I soon discovered that no one could force my wife to do anything that she didn't want to do. 

The truth is, I never stopped being in love with my wife.  But things were just not 'working out.'   We thought we were trying, but we were both only wanting to get our own way.  There was no 'unconditional' love.  Everything was absolutely conditional. 

We were 'me-monsters'—totally selfish and self-serving—especially me.

At our final separation in the late 1990's, it was on a cold Autumn evening that it finally hit me..."this is a done deal.  there is no going back.  It's over."  I had a full-on panic attack.  I had never had one before and it was freaky. 

The cold hard reality of the consequences of my selfishness and infidelity had hit me like a freight train. I didn't feel like I had the will to live any longer.  It was the first time in my life that I truly felt absolutely hopeless.  I felt totally lost and alone.

During this period of my life my mom had invited me to come to her church...but  I was very hesitant. 

I was glad for her that she "found something that worked for her."  But I certainly "didn't need that."  However, I couldn't escape the hard reality of my messed up life and failed marriage.  As much as I tried, I could not fix my marriage and solve my issues. The emptiness inside of me—the fact that there was something missing in my life—was always right there to remind me every day.

I ended up going on a month-long trip to England with a couple of friends, and I went halfway around the world trying to 'find myself.'  But when I found myself, I didn't like what I found.  I saw just how selfish, and hurtful and unfaithful I had been to my wife and that I alone was responsible for all my failures.

So I left my friends in Ireland a week early, and came back home and broke off the relationship with the other woman.

It was during this time that  my mom invited me to a weely bible study that they had at her church. They were teaching about "Jesus, the Son of God" who was asking men to "Follow Me" and they were walking away from their boats and nets and they followed Him.  I came to know Jesus Christ as my Savior through Him revealing Himself to me in the Gospels.

I learned that only God could truly solve my problems or change my heart. 

And I also discovered that only God could change my wife's heart.

I asked my wife for forgiveness, and told her how Jesus Christ revealed Himself to me, and how He was changing me.  

But talk can be cheap, and after so many years of a broken marriage and an unfaithful husband, my wife had no basis whatsoever to trust me or believe anything that I said. But over the next few months she saw a real change in me.  My heart had changed and my actions proved it. I was a different man.

My wife started to go to church with me and she soon accepted Jesus Christ as her Savior too. As we began our new spiritual journey together, we had no way of knowing then just how many more difficult bumps and forks in the road that we would experience together in the long process of walking with Jesus Christ.  I am a slow learner and I messed up a lot of times after this. 

But God has been patient and faithful to change us and to help us to continue to forgive each other and love each other unconditionally.  But it is a life-long process.  This side of Heaven, no one will be perfect and we all stumble and make mistakes and choose poorly at times.  Thank God for His amazing grace toward us!

It is amazing to me today, to look at how much my wife and I are in love, and that we are even still married!  Just when I think that our marriage can't possibly get any better, it gets better!  I am reminded again today of one of the things my Mom used to say to me when she was still alive. 

She said,

"Mark, there's one thing I know for sure, and that is that God changed my heart and that was something that I never could do for myself."

And I can truly give that same testimony. 

God changed our hearts and my wife and I both know that this was something that we never could do for ourselves.  We tried for years, and we only made things worse.  It is your choice to believe that or not.  But we have personally experienced God truly moving in our hearts and changing our lives.  And many of our relatives and friends who have known us for years know what our marriage was like before, and how we were separated and headed for divorce court many times.  They have lived through that period with us and they see how different we truly are today.

I have been given so much hope because if God can heal and save a broken hopeless marriage like mine, then He can save anyone's marriage who will surrender it to Him and be willing to change and do it God's way.

And that is not just religious talk.  It is the truth, and we have personally experienced it first-hand.

If your marriage seems hopeless and impossible, remember, with God all things are possible—for those who will choose to surrender their hearts and their hurts to the One who is mighty to save.

No matter what you've done, no matter how far you think you've fallen...

—There is always hope in Christ.

—God is Love, and Love Never Fails.

Finishing Well

Home.

It's where I long to be. 

To be 'home' is a universal longing, as the following song lyrics well portray:

"Home, where my thoughts escape, at home, where my music's playing,

Home, where my love lies waiting silently for me..."

Travelling, hitting the road, exploring new destinations, embarking on a long jaunt into the wilderness.  This can all be wonderful and exhilarating—for a time.

But after a long day, or week in the mountains, beautiful as it may be, my heart has a homing instinct—a beacon—drawing me home. 

Home, where my love lies waiting, silently for me.  

I love to get up early, before the sun comes up, hot cup of coffee in hand, and get out on the road to my favorite river.  As I head west and drive through the countryside, the beauty of the sun coming up, illuminating the valley, is spectacular.  There's something about morning, when everything is new. 

In the newness of the morning, you can—if you choose—put the failures and disappointments of yesterday behind you. 

Arriving in the desert, as the sun begins to warm the canyon, the scent of sage brush and the sound of red-winged black birds, and the gentle sounds of my favorite river warms my soul, as the cares and difficulties of this life fall off my back, one-by-one, like old fish scales.

Experiencing a long day on the river is like a snapshot of spring, summer and fall—all rolled into eight hours or so.  The coolness of morning is like the spring.  The heat of the day is like summer.  And the long shadows and burst of color as the sun drops low is like autumn. But as the long day closes, I long to be home before the darkness falls like winter.

Driving back through the farmlands heading towards home, the smell of freshly cut alfalfa and mint stirs my senses. The scent of newly harvested onions is intoxicating. Even the pungent smell of smoke from burning stubble fields has it's own memorable charm. 

The end of summer signals the harvest.

I love driving home as the light is fading, but still illuminates everything enough to see clearly. There's something very cold and lonely about being out on the road after dark.  I was not created for darkness.

I was created for Home.

Home, where the fire is crackling in the fireplace, warming the house.  Home, where the smell of something wonderful is cooking in the kitchen.   Home, where the sweet sound of my wife singing fills the entire house, and warms my heart and soul. 

Home, where my Love is waiting for me.

As a follower of Christ, I feel like I am on that long drive Home, as the sun is setting on this life. 

Must get home before darkness falls.

Much of my adult life has felt more like a long, hot summer day than anything else.  There have been many wonderful moments, and untold blessings in this life, to be sure.  But there has never been a time when I felt like I am no longer struggling.

Yes, it is a wonderful life.  But life is hard.

Learning to be content—no matter what state I'm in—this is key.

What I am learning as I'm in this life-long process of learning to be content, is to be very careful about having unrealistic expectations.  God did not promise me a perfect life where there will never be any trials, struggles or disappointments.  

Jesus said:

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer—I have overcome the world."  (John 16:33)

In this world, we will have tribulation—pressure: affliction, anguish, burdens, persecution, trouble.

So, it's a pipe-dream to have the expectation that this life is going to be perfect and trouble-free.  It won't be.  It isn't.   That was never promised to us.

As I'm often reminded, "This isn't Heaven."

So how do we finish well?

First, we finish well by constantly remembering how well we started—in Christ. 

He translated us out of the kingdom of darkness, and into His marvelous Light!   He set us in His eternal family!   Our sin and iniquity, He will remember no more! 

That's a great start!

But as we continue on, in our long journey towards Home... it's easy to get complacent, and we tend to forget how well we started, and who we are in Christ.

We get so bogged-down and bound up by the troubles of this present life—as if this is all there is.

This is not all there is.

We finish well by remembering—and believing—that our Father in Heaven promised us that He has good thoughts and good plans for us, and that He has given us a hope, and a future. 

Perfect love casts out all fear.

We finish well by not believing the lie of the enemy who tries to keep God's people in fear, and who would say to us that God will not keep His promises to us, and that we do not have a hope and a future.

We finish well by choosing to trust in God to manage our life—no matter how difficult our circumstances may be.  No matter how bad the world and the economy looks right now.  No matter how much we are suffering presently.

We trust in God's promise to us that "He will present us to Himself, a perfect Bride, without spot, or blemish, or any such thing." 

He will present us to Himself—perfect, complete, without blemish, stain, sin, or shame. Our perfection is not up to us to complete.  We are Christ's workmanship—not our own.

And for that, I am eternally thankful.

We finish well by clinging tightly to Jesus, trusting Him in all things, being content with where He has us right now; knowing He has promised us an everlasting Home with Him that is beyond our wildest dreams. 

Jesus said:

"In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also."  (John 14:2-3)

Since we know the end of the Story—we can finish well with all assurance; by pursuing Jesus more passionately, by loving more unconditionally, by sacrificing more sincerely and by speaking the truth in love more intentionally. 

Finishing well is our destiny. Home is our destination. Don't give up—we're almost there! We were not created for darkness.

 We're well on our way Home. 

—God is Love, and Love Never Fails.

   

Not Easily Broken

"Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him, 

And a three-fold cord is not easily broken." 

Imagine yourself suspended, a thousand feet up, on the face of El Capitan, a single-strand rope your only lifeline, and the rope you've chosen is rubbing against the sharp edge of the rock and is beginning to fray...

This story will not end well.

No one in their right mind would embark on such a climb with a single-strand rope.  To do so would be utter foolishness. 

Wise, experienced climbers use abrasion-resistant, multi-strand climbing ropes, and they carefully inspect their ropes before each climb.

It's a matter of life or death.

Now, think of the analogy of the strength of a multi-strand rope in the context of friendships, family and marriage.

We were not meant to go it alone in this life.

Marriage for the Christian was never meant to be merely a two-strand cord. It would never stay together with only two strands.  No, marriage must be a three-fold cord—husband and wife braided and bound together with the Love, Spirit and Person of Jesus Christ.

What's fascinating about this analogy of a three-fold marriage, is the writer of Ecclesiastes does not say the three-fold cord is impossible to break.  He says it is not easily broken.

It can be broken if we let it.

We can break the three-fold cord by our selfishness. 

Husbands, if we go off and do our own thing, pleasing ourselves, and neglecting our wives, the three-fold cord will eventually break.  No, it won't instantly snap. But over time, just as the climbers rope begins to fray from the abrasion of rubbing against the sharp rocks, so too will our relationship with our wives begin to fray and weaken from the sharpness of our bad attitudes, harsh words, and neglect.  And unfortunately, once that marriage cord has been severed, more often than not, it ends up being beyond repair.

In the context of friendships, true friends are bound together by a shared love for Christ, as well as a common respect and affection for one another.  Good friends share common interests.  We look out for each other.  We encourage each other when the other is down.  We lend a hand to help without being asked when a friend is in need.  Friends don't allow themselves to become divided over trivial issues or get in disputes over superficial things.  Friends give each other the benefit of the doubt and extend grace to each other. We forgive one another. We are there for each other.  We always have each other's back.  We would literally take a bullet for one another.

Since my wife is also my best friend, this doubly applies to my marriage.

Now think of the three-fold cord in the context of family—particularly for us men and the relationships we have with our sons, and with our fathers.

Fathers, what kind of example are you setting for your sons?   How do you treat their mother?  What is your conversation with your buddies like when you are standing around the barbecue and your sons are listening? What do your children hear you say about your job or your boss? 

Does your son see you honoring your own father by visiting him regularly in the nursing home he is living in?

Grampas, do you take your son and grandsons fishing?  Do you continue to instill wisdom into them?

The three-fold cord of father, son and grandson is a powerful force when you are bound together in the love and selflessness of Christ.  But today, many guys are off doing their own thing, and there is no three-fold cord relationship between the three generations.

The Apostle Paul wrote that in the last days perilous times shall come.

May we all today, examine ourselves and see if we are truly in the faith.  Are we loving sacrificially, dying to self?

Or are we being the kind of men that Paul writes of in 2 Timothy 3:1-5

"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,  unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good,  traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,  having a form of godliness but denying its power."

Grand Fathers, dads and sons... if Jesus were to return right now, what kind of men would He find us to be today?

Would He find men who are truly in the faith?

Jesus said,

"There is no greater love than this—that a man would lay down his life for his friends."

May we as sons bring honor to our Father in Heaven, by loving Him, and loving people, laying down our lives for others.

This is what it means to be a real man.

—God is Love, and Love Never Fails.

Without A Paddle

We've all, no doubt, heard the old expression, "Up a creek without a paddle."

If you're a kayaker, half-way down a remote stretch of class IV white water, and you lose your paddle, you are in a very tough predicament indeed. You absolutely have to have your paddle to navigate the turns, obstacles and dangers that lie ahead.

Not a good predicament to be in, to say the least.

Same goes for a pilot trying to fly in the pitch black of night.  If you lose your navigation system, you're toast.

Life is like that.

Without a trust-worthy navigation system, we're absolutely un-equipped to navigate the obstacles and dangers of this life.

For those who trust wholly in themselves to navigate life in this difficult world, I think an honest observation of history, and the current state of this extremely messed up planet, clearly illustrate that this hasn't worked out so well.

However, for those of us who place all of our trust in the Lord—we have a 100% trust-worthy G.P.S.

We have an implanted God-Positioning-System. 

He is the Holy Spirit.

And we cannot hope to navigate the obstacles, pitfalls and dangers of this life without Him.

But if we are to find our way, we first have to be plugged-in to our GPS. Your life will never work if you disconnect from your GPS and try to go it alone. 

Without a continous connection to your GPS—you're toast.

How does our GPS work?

A man named Elijah discovered his GPS about three thousand years ago:

"Then God said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake;  and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. So it was, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. Suddenly a voice came to him, and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”  (1 Kings 19:11-13)

Elijah was a man who was said to be just like us.  When he should of been obeying God, doing what He told him to do, instead, he was hiding in a cave, afraid of a woman named Jezebel, who threatened to take his life.

And just like us, Elijah clearly couldn't make it on his own, and he needed a trust-worthy navigation system to guide him, and help him navigate the pitfalls and dangers of life.

Elijah's GPS was exactly the same navigation system as ours—the indwelling, still small voice of the Holy Spirit.

And the still small voice of the Holy Spirit is always, absolutely 100% trust-worthy.

You can't navigate the twists and turns of your life without being led by the still small voice of the Holy Spirit.  You'll walk into a pit, or drive off a cliff if you are trying to go it alone, and lean to your own understanding.

Guys, if you are trying to "Lone Ranger" it...you are truly up a creek without a paddle.

Plug into your God Positioning System.

He will never leave you or forsake you. He will not allow you to be tempted beyond that which you are able to bear, and with the temptation, He will always show you the way out.  He will supply all of your need according to His riches in glory, by Christ Jesus. And even though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you need not fear any evil for He is with you, and He will comfort you.  He is your strength, and your refuge in times of trouble.  He knows how to deliver you from tribulation.  He holds all things together by the Word of His Power.  He has set His eternal seal upon you, and He has set you in His family forever.

The only question that remains is—are you plugged in?   Are you listening for His still small voice.

You have to be quiet, yielded and still to hear Him.  He speaks in a gentle whisper.

If you're like me, far too often you look for His leading and direction to come in a totally obvious and dramatic way. I want His direction for me to be loud and clear, like fire, wind, or an earthquake.

But as Elijah experienced, God is not in the explosive wind, fire or earthquake.

God doesn't part the clouds and speak to us audibly, telling us to go to a specific place at 2:45 PM, and talk to Mr. so-and-so. He doesn't write on our wall literally, and spell it all out for us categorically.

No, He dwells in our inner-most heart, and He speaks to us ever-so-softly—in a very gentle whisper.

We will never be able to hear His still small voice if we are constantly allowing ourselves to be distracted by ringing cell phones, blaring TV's, our own selfish agendas, or by other peoples well-intended, but misguided expectations of us.

This is why spending lots of alone time with God—quiet time—in the secret place—is so vitally important to hearing His still small voice. 

Quiet time, where we don't spend ten minutes reading off our shopping list of instructions to God as if He is some sort of divine mall Santa Claus.  

Time to be still, and know that He is God. 

Time to sit patiently and allow Him to speak to our hearts in His gentle whisper. 

It's similar to being in sales.  If you are not attentively listening at least seventy percent of the time—you are talking way too much.

Learn to be still. 

Learn to listen.

There are so many other voices out there.   Voices that we constantly need to be on guard against. Voices of the Enemy that speak things to us that are, on the surface, very enticing, but equally deadly.  Voices that, while well intended, are actually misguided and are not speaking God's will for us.  Voices that subtly call us away from time with our Lord in the secret place.  Voices that are actually our own flesh, wanting us to do what feels good to us, while ignoring the greater call of what God would have us do in that moment.

Learn to identify all of those other voices and then tune them out.  Testing all of those voices by the Scriptures in the Bible is the best way to identify the source of the voices.  You have to know the source. 

You have to know Your Source. He alone is the Way, the Truth and the Life.

Listen only for, and to, the still small voice of your Savior.

And then follow Him...

—God is Love, and Love Never Fails.