Ancient Hebrew Wedding

This study was something someone shared with me many years ago, and has been emailed around the country many times.  I have no idea who the original author is and this writing is not my own, but I only want to share this amazing study. This is a beautiful picture of Christ the Bridegroom, and His Bride the Church.

I hope this study blesses you as much as it has blessed us.

Shalom!

Ancient Hebrew Wedding

The ancient Jewish Wedding Ceremony God gave to the Jewish people to teach us about the Wedding of the Messiah consisted of 12 steps:

1. The Selection of the Bride.

      The bride was usually chosen by the father of the bridegroom. The father would send his trusted servant, known as the agent of the father, to search out the bride. An excellent example of this can be seen in Genesis 24. In this chapter, Abraham (a type of God the Father) wishes to secure a bride for Isaac (a type of Messiah) and sends his servant Eliazer (a type of the Holy Spirit) to do this task (Genesis 24:2-4; 15:2). It is the role of the Holy Spirit to convict the world of sin and lead them to God (John 16:7-8). Just as the bride was usually chosen by the father of the bridegroom, so the believers in the Messiah are chosen by God (John 15:16). The bridegroom chose the bride and lavished his love upon her and she returned his love. This can be seen in Ephesians 5:25, as it is written,

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for her."

In Genesis 24, Rebekah consented to marry Isaac even before she ever met him. Today, the believers in the Messiah Yeshua consent to become the Bride of Messiah even though we have never seen Him. First Peter 1:8 speaks of this, as it is written, "Whom having not seen, you love; in whom, though now you see Him not, yet believing, you rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory."

2. A Bride Price was Established.

      A price would have to be paid for the bride. The agreed upon price was called a mohar in Hebrew. Yeshua, being our bridegroom, paid a very high price for His Bride, the Body of believers. The price He paid was His life. Yeshua considered the price He had to pay for His Bride before His death as He went into the Garden of Gethsemane to pray in Matthew 26:39, "O My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from Me: nevertheless not as I will, but as You will."

Yeshua was, in essence, saying, "Father, You have chosen this bride and I have agreed to the terms, but do you realize the price that is being asked for her?" Our mohar, our bride price, was His life. 1 Peter 1:18-19 says, "Forasmuch as you know that you were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot." In First Corinthians 6:20 it is written, "For you are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."

3. The Bride and Groom are Betrothed to Each Other.

     Betrothal is the first of two steps in the marriage process. Betrothal in Hebrew is known as erusin or kiddushin. Betrothal legally binds the bride and the groom together in a marriage contract (covenant), except they do not physically live together. Historically, God betrothed Himself to Israel at Mount Sinai (Jeremiah 2:2; Hosea 2:19-20). Whenever you accept the Messiah into your heart and life, you become betrothed to Him while living on the earth.

4. A Written Document is Drawn up, known as a Ketubah.

This betrothal contract is called, in Hebrew, a shiythre erusin.  The ketubah is the Marriage Contract that states the Bride Price, the Promises of the Groom, and the rights of the bride. Ketubah means "that which is written." The groom promised to work for her, to honor, support, and maintain her in truth, to provide food, clothing, and necessities, and to live together with her as husband and wife. The ketubah was the unalienable right of the bride. The ketubah must be executed and signed prior to the wedding ceremony. The Bible is the believer's ketubah. All the promises that God provided for the believers in the Messiah are legally ours, as it is written in Second Corinthians 1:20, "For all the promises of God in Him are yea, and in Him Amen."

5. The Bride Must Give Her Consent.

 God betrothed Himself to Israel at Mount Sinai as stated in Jeremiah 2:2. Israel consented to the marriage proposal from God and said, "I do," as it is written in Exodus 24:3. Likewise, the personal application to those who desire the Messiah to come into their hearts and live is to accept His invitation to do so by faith, as it is written:

"For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation."

Just as Rebekah was not obligated to go with Eliezer to be Isaac’s bride unless she was willing, (see Genesis 24) even today, to become the bride of Messiah Yeshua you must willingly say "I do" to Him....and openly receive Him.

6. Gifts were given to the Bride and a Cup called the "Cup of the Covenant" was Shared Between the Bride and the Groom.

      The rite of betrothal (erusin) is completed when the groom gives something of value to the bride and she accepts it. The gift most often given today is the ring. When the groom places the ring on the bride's finger, the rite of betrothal is completed. This completed rite is known in Hebrew as kiddushin, which means "sanctification."

      The gifts to the bride are symbols of love, commitment, and loyalty. The gift God gives to those who accept the Messiah is the Holy Spirit (John 14:26; 15:26-27; Acts 2:38; 2 Corinthians 1:21-22). When Yeshua ascended to Heaven, He gave gifts to men (Ephesians 4:7-8). These gifts included righteousness (Romans 5:17-18), eternal life (Romans 6:23), grace (Romans 5:12, 14-15), faith (Ephesians 2:8-9), and other spiritual gifts (1 Corinthians 12:1, 4). These included wisdom, knowledge, healing, the working of miracles, prophecy, the discerning of spirits, tongues, and interpretation of tongues (1 Corinthians 12:8-11), as well as the gifts of helps and administration (1 Corinthians 12:28).

      In addition, at this time the Cup of the Covenant was shared and sealed between the bride and the groom with the drinking of wine. In doing so, the couple drinks from a common cup. The cup is first given to the groom to sip, and then is given to the bride. This cup, known as the cup of the covenant, is spoken of in Jeremiah 31:31-33, as it is written:

“Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah: not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt; which My covenant they broke, although I was an husband unto them, saith the Lord: but this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel; After those days, saith the Lord, I will put My law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be My people” (Jeremiah 31:31-33).

Yeshua spoke of the cup of the New Covenant in Luke 22:20. We drink the cup of Communion to remember Jesus.

7. The Bride had a mikvah (water immersion), which is a ritual of cleansing.

      Mikvah is a Hebrew word that means "pool" or "body of water." Mikvah is a ceremonial act of purification by the immersion in water. It indicates a separation from a former way to a new way. In the case of marriage, it indicates leaving an old life for a new life with your spouse (Genesis 2:23-24; Ephesians 5:31). Immersing in the mikvah is considered spiritual rebirth. The reason is that a mikvah has the power to change a person completely. Concerning the marriage to Israel at Mount Sinai, God said in Ezekiel 16:8-9, as it is written, "I swore unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee—and thou became Mine. Then washed I thee with water." The washing, or immersion, here refers to that of Israel before the people received the Torah when God betrothed Himself to Israel at Mount Sinai (Exodus 19:14-15). Yeshua spoke to the Pharisee, Nicodemus that he must be born again to enter into the Kingdom of God (John 3:1-7). The believers in the Messiah are to be baptized in the name of Yeshua (Acts 19:4). Jesus is the Baptizer of the Holy Spirit (Luke 3:16; Acts 1:5; 11:15-16).

8. The Bridegroom Departed, Going Back to His Father's House to Prepare the Bridal Chamber.

      At this point, the bridegroom leaves for his father's house to prepare the bridal chamber for his bride. It was understood to be the man's duty to go away to be with his father, build a dwelling place, and prepare for the eventual wedding. Before he goes, though, he will make a statement to the bride. "I go to prepare a place for you; if I go, I will return again unto you." This is the same statement Yeshua made in John:

“Let not your heart be troubled: you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Fathers' house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto Myself that where I am, there you may be also.” (John 14:1-3).

9. The Bride was Consecrated and Set Apart for a Period of Time While the Bridegroom was Away Building the House.

      Before the bridegroom could go and get the bride, the groom's father had to be satisfied that every preparation had been made by the son. Only then could he give permission to the son to go and get the bride. The bridegroom did not know when his father would declare the bridal chamber fit and send him to go get his bride. This is exactly what Yeshua was referring to in Mark 13:32-37.

      Meanwhile, the bride was to wait eagerly for the return of the bridegroom. In the mind of the bride, the bridegroom could come at any time, even in the middle of the night or at midnight. Therefore, she had to be ready at all times. Yeshua referred to this in Mark 13:32-37 and Matthew 25:1-13.

10. The Bridegroom Returns with a Shout, "Behold, the Bridegroom Comes!" and the Sound of the Ram's Horn (Shofar) would be Blown.

      The time of the return of the bridegroom was usually at midnight. When the bridegroom did come, he came with a shout (Matthew 25:6) and with the blowing of a shofar (trumpet) (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17; Revelation 4:1). The marriage between the bride and the groom will take place under the chupah or wedding canopy. Since Heaven is a type of chupah, we can see that when Yeshua gives a shout for His bride, accompanied by the blowing of a shofar (trumpet), the marriage between Yeshua and His bride will take place in Heaven.

11. He would Come For his Bride, usually in the Middle of the Night, to Go to the Bridal Chamber where the Marriage would be Consummated.

This is the full marriage, known in Hebrew as nesu'in.  The bride and groom will go to the wedding chamber, (or chadar in Hebrew), where the marriage will be consummated. They will stay in that wedding chamber for seven days, or a week. At the end of the seven days, the bride and groom will come out from the wedding chamber. This can be seen in Joel 2:15-16.

“Blow the trumpet in Zion, consecrate a fast, call a sacred assembly; Gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children and nursing babes; let the bridegroom go out from his chamber, and the bride from her dressing room.”  (Joel 2:15-16)

      The word week in Hebrew is shavuah. It means a "seven." It can mean seven days or seven years. An example of the Hebrew word for week (shavuah) meaning seven years can be found in Daniel 9:24, and in 9:27, "And he [the false Messiah known as the antichrist] shall confirm the covenant with many for one week [shavuah, seven years]...." This "week" is known to Bible-believers as the Tribulation period. The Jewish people understand this time to be the birth pangs of the Messiah known in Hebrew eschatology as the Chevlai shel Mashiach. This is taken from Jeremiah 30:5-7. From this we can see that the believers in the Messiah will be with the Messiah in Heaven for His wedding while the earth will be experiencing the Seven-year Tribulation period. This is also referred to in a Hebrew eschatological context, as the time of “Jacob’s Trouble.”

“Ask now, and see, whether a man is ever in labor with child? So why do I see every man with his hands on his loins like a woman in labor, and all faces turned pale? Alas! For that day is great, so that none is like it; and it is the time of Jacob’s trouble, but he shall be saved out of it.”  (Jeremiah 30:6-7).

12. Finally, there would be a Marriage Supper for all the guests invited by the Father of the Bride.

      The bride and the groom would be in the wedding chamber for seven days. When the bride and the groom initially went into the wedding chamber, the friend of the bridegroom stood outside the door. All the assembled guests of the wedding gathered outside, waiting for the friend of the bridegroom to announce the consummation of the marriage, which was relayed to him by the groom. John the Baptist referred to this in John 3:29. At this signal, great rejoicing broke forth (John 3:29). The marriage was consummated on the first night (Genesis 29:23). The blood-stained linen from this night was preserved. It was proof of the bride's virginity (Deuteronomy 22:13-21).

      On the wedding day, the bridegroom is seen as a king and the bride as a queen. During the consummation of the marriage, the bridegroom (Yeshua) will be crowned King over all the earth and the Bride (the believers in Yeshua, the Messiah) will live with Him and rule and reign with Him forever. The crowning of the King and the marriage can be seen in Isaiah 62:3-7.

At the end of the week (Seven-year Tribulation, or birth pangs of the Messiah), the Marriage Supper will take place. After the marriage, the bride and Groom will return to earth. The marriage supper will be taking place on earth and only the invited guests of the Father of the Groom (God the Father) will be present at the banquet meal. This can be seen in Revelation 19:7-16 and 20:4. Yeshua spoke of the marriage supper and the banquet in Luke 12:35-38 and Matthew 8:11.

      The unbelievers in the Messiah will attend a separate banquet where the fowls of the air will eat their flesh. This can be seen in Revelation 19:17-18.

      The home of the bride was Jerusalem and it was the bridegroom who came to the bride to dwell with her. It is from Jerusalem that the believers in the Messiah during the Messianic age, or Millennium, will reign with the Messiah. This can be seen in Revelation 21:1-3; Ezekiel 43:1-2,7; Isaiah 2:2-4; Micah 4:1-5; and Zechariah 2:l0-12.

     Whenever anyone hears the message of the basar (Gospel), it is a wedding proposal by God to accept Him and be a part of His bride. God desires that we accept His invitation and give Him our response of "I do." In fact, Revelation 22:20 is a proposal by Yeshua Himself to accept Him and be a part of His bride.

His message to all people in this verse is...  "Come"


—God is Love and Love Never Fails.

Do You Know Where You're Going?

    Photo ©Mark Faulkner 2010

As I reflect on this past year over my steaming cup of coffee, I can't help but be overwhelmed by God's goodness and faithfulness to us.

Oh sure, there have been some very hard times. 

I lost my job back in September and am still searching for a new one. Finances are really tight right now, and we've had to make some big adjustments.  I've had some health issues that are troubling me. The economic outlook is certainly not very encouraging.  Today, the world is a very shaky place.  World peace?

Who knows what's going to happen?

But one thing I do know, and that is, I know where I'm going. 

For those who have chosen to follow Jesus and trust in Him as the Savior, our hope and future is absolutely secured. 

As I look back on my life, on all my many failures, on all the stupid things I've done and the many poor choices I have made—the fact is, I shouldn't even be here today.  I should be dead, in prison, or at best, living under a bridge somewhere.

But God stepped into my world and revealed Himself to me when I was running the opposite direction. He met me where I was and intervened when I was on a path of self-destruction.

Thank You Lord for saving me.

It's amazing because this new life in Christ is not just a bunch of religious talk.  It's not just some lifeless words in a dusty old black book.  It's real.  God is alive, He's present, and He is working and moving in our hearts, in our life and in our relationships. 

And it's that absolute hope through Christ that keeps us going.  When I look back on all the very difficult times and obstacles I have had to go through, I know by real experience that God helped me to get through them.  And many times I didn't think I was going to make it.  Many times I certainly didn't feel like I wanted to continue.

But here we are—"still sucking air" as a brother often reminds us. 

Think about how a diamond is formed.   It takes many years of intense pressure and heat for the minerals and substances that make up a diamond to become the sparkling finished product.  Without that intense heat, pressure and expanse of time, a diamond could not exist.

That's how it is in the life of a believer. 

Until we meet Christ face-to-face, we're a diamond in the rough.  We're in that process of being formed and shaped—by intense heat, pressure and time.  And we can't become who we are ultimately made to be without it.  A refiner produces gold from raw material.  He then begins the lengthy process of purification by using intense heat.  As he turns up the heat, the impurities—or dross—rise to the surface where he can sift them off.  Eventually, the gold becomes so pure, the refiner can see his own reflection in the molten, liquid gold.

Without God refining us in the heat of life's fiery trials, we will never become the pure gold He desires. 

So, I am thankful for the fiery trials of 2010.  Truth be told...part of me hopes 2011 is easier and cooler than 2010.  But somehow, I don't see that happening.  *smile*

But I know that our God, who is faithful, will bring us through this new year, no matter what is in store. And we have been given the perseverance, character, experience and hope to prove it.  We made it through this far, and we know that we can make it through whatever comes next.

Paul writes in Romans 5:1-5

"Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,  through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

Do you have peace with God?

It is only available through Jesus Christ, and having a personal relationship with Him.

Our hearts and lives have absolutely been changed by Christ.  And it was something that we couldn't do for ourselves.  We tried for years, but failed and only made things worse.

But we now have true peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. We know where we are going. And that is why we have absolute hope in Christ.  Hope that is unshakable.  Hope that we have experienced.

What path are you on right now in your life?

If you're like most people, you quite likely have reached a fork in the road and it's time to make a decision as to which direction you will go.

Do you know where you're going?

—God is Love and Love Never Fails.

At The Scent Of Water

    Photo ©Mark Faulkner 2010

Winter is not my favorite time of year.

Things appear to be so lifeless. Dark, rainy, cold...  

I long for those hot, breezy days on my favorite river.  I love the smell of sage brush when the fragrance is magnified by the heat.  The scent of wild roses and what smells like wild apples drifts down the canyon as the cool of the dawn burns away in the mid-morning sun.

No matter how dead the grass and trees look during the dormancy of winter, after what seems like forever, the cottonwoods finally begin to bud and tiny green blades of new grass poke up through the dry, matted lawn.  The dreary, gray blanket of winter begins to be replaced by the sunny blue skies of spring.

What season is your marriage in right now?

Are things dormant? Dreary, cold, lifeless...

You can experience the exhilarating season of spring in your marriage again.  

But first you have to break up the hard soil of your heart.  Our heart is like a garden. The soil gets compacted, hard and dry from the heat of summer.  The soil needs to be moistened and then broken up, nurtured, prepared, and  ready to receive seed.

Without the long, damp season of winter, our garden would be a parched desert.  The seasons of life are necessary.  Things have to die to bring new life. The once vibrant, green leaves of spring, eventually decay and fall to the ground.  But the soil will not be fertile again until the leaves die and nurture the soil. Our cascading rivers would not exist unless snow covers the mountains in winter, and then melt in the spring, to eventually return to the ocean where the cycle can begin all over again.

I have seen a dead garden begin to breathe new life at the scent of the rains of spring.

How often that has happened in my own heart... and in my marriage.

It has to start with my heart first.  The newness of life cannot bloom in a hard, dry desert. Seeds cannot be planted in hard pan soil.   We need brokenness. The soil needs to be plowed. 

Pray for rain.

Only the living water of God's Spirit can cause a dormant, dead or dying marriage to bud again and bring forth leaves and fruit.

Job 14:7-9

“For there is hope for a tree,
      If it is cut down, that it will sprout again,
      And that its tender shoots will not cease.

 
Though its root may grow old in the earth,
      And its stump may die in the ground,
 
Yet at the scent of water it will bud
      And bring forth branches like a plant."

The newness of life cannot bloom in a hard, dry desert. 

A marriage cannot be restored and bloom in a heart hardened by bitterness, resentment, selfishness and unforgiveness.

Only the living water of Jesus Christ can turn a barren desert of a marriage into a garden of delight. If you know the Source...ask Him for rivers of Living Water to fill your heart to overflowing. Pray for His rain.

Allow the flow of living water to moisten and soften your heart.

There is hope.


—God is Love and Love Never Fails.

A Child Is Born

    Photo ©Mark Faulkner 2010

For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6)

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.  For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."   (John 3:16-17) 

Merry Christmas!

May the Peace, Joy and Love of the Savior overflow from our hearts as we thank God for Jesus Christ: Emmanuel--God with us.

Hallelujah!

In Everything Give Thanks

    Photo ©Mark Faulkner 2010

I am so thankful for my life.

For the wonderful wife and children God has given me.

For my entire family.

For my wonderful parents--now both Home with Jesus.

For my friends and family in Christ.

For our spiritual step sons in India.

For the home and provision God has supplied for us.

For the beauty of God's creation that He has given us to enjoy.

For the capacity to love and forgive one another--just as God Himself has loved and forgiven us.

For the trials of this life that mold and shape us.

For salvation in Jesus Christ.

For our eternal Home in glory.

For the love of Jesus Christ.

For being chosen as children of God and given an eternal destiny.

For the hope, joy and peace that is only found in Jesus.

Thank You Father in Heaven.

All praise and glory to You forever!

-Amen.

The Art Of Listening

Ever try to have a conversation with someone who talks at you for a long period of time, and they hardly stop to take a breath?

They ramble on and on incessantly about themselves, typically over superficial stuff that you could really care less about. And eventually, you either feel like you want to just get up and walk away, or certainly that your head will explode soon if they don't shut up.

It's no fun is it?

I've been on both sides of that conversation. And for those of you who know me, please forgive me for all the times that I have been a horrible listener.

Here's a few memorable quotes on listening that I have enjoyed over the years:

"Listening is more than waiting for your turn to talk."

"God gave you two ears and one mouth—therefore, you better use the first two at least twice as much as you're using that second one."

That's good stuff.  And profoundly true.

I learned in my sales career that if a salesman is not listening to his clients at least 70% of the time, he is talking way too much. You can't effectively build a relationship and listen to someone if you never stop talking.

The art of listening boils down to one simple concept: 

Love.

If you are blabbing on-and-on about yourself, bragging about your talents and your accomplishments, not listening to the other person, that is certainly not demonstrating love to that person.

In fact, it's about as selfish, arrogant, and self-centered as you can possibly be.

When someone else is speaking, the way you truly show them love and respect is to give them your full and undivided attention.  Maintain eye contact and let your body language show you care about what they have to say by actually appearing to be attentive and genuinely interested in hearing them. 

Slouching back in your seat, looking off to one side, texting, playing with your cell phone, or rolling your eyes and yawning--is not the way you demonstrate love and respect to the person who is speaking.

Interrupting someone when they are speaking is also not demonstrating love.

I have been in more meetings or small group situations when someone is speaking and another person cuts them off in the middle of a sentence.  That is extremely rude and very unloving and disrespectful.

When I see this happen, it makes me wonder if these people were ever taught any manners as a child.  Seriously.  Remember the Golden Rule?  "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you?" Do you like it when someone interrupts you when you are speaking?  Then stop doing it to other people. You are not on "The Apprentice" with Donald Trump.

Common courtesy ain't so common these days.

The art of listening must be lovingly demonstrated in all business or social situations, whether in large groups, one-on-one conversations, with old friends, or with new acquaintances.  If you don't show people your genuine care and respect for them by really listening to them, eventually you will have earned a well deserved reputation as a bore, and people will stop wanting to be around you altogether.

Listening is more than waiting for your turn to talk.

What that means is that truly listening to someone when they are speaking is done with an intent to truly hear and understand what that person is trying to communicate to you.  Not just listening to the words, but to seek to understand the full meaning of what the person wants to convey.  We must seek to hear a person's heart and read their body language and vocal inflection.  If we are just keeping momentarily silent, only to formulate what we want to say next, that is not listening. 

Listening with the intent to fully understand is doubly important in your marriage.

When your wife sounds like she is complaining that you don't spend enough time with her, she is not saying you are a bad man.  What she is really saying is, "I just need you to love me more." 

Are you really seeking to hear her heart in these instances?  Or are you just sitting there with the remote in your hand, continuing to watch the game on TV, letting what she says flow in one ear and right out the other?

Do you give your children your full and undivided attention when they want to talk to you?  Or do you impatiently brush them off and say, "Not now, daddy's busy!"

You need to re-think your priorities Buckwheat.

For too many people, you won't truly appreciate what you have until you lose it.

And whether that refers to your precious wife, husband, children, friends, acquaintances, or business associates; if you don't learn and practice the art of listening soon, you may well end up a very lonely person.

Meaningful relationship can only happen when we take the time and care to truly listen to each other with the intent to understand.  Be quick to love, quick to hear and slow to speak. 

James 1:19

"So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath."

Amen.

Stay Loose in The Saddle

   Photo ©Mark Faulkner 2009

Amazing... how suddenly the seasons of this life can change.

I am slowly, painfully, learning to be careful of the expectations I have of people, situations, and outcomes.

In fact, the one constant is that things are constantly changing. And it is when I think I have things figured out, and I think I know what people are going to do, and how things will turn out, that the unexpected happens.

For years I have been hearing the phrase "stay loose in the saddle."  And I continue to learn why that is so true.  Things are continuously changing.  The unexpected happens.  Things don't always go according to my plan. 

The things of this life are all just seasons.  And seasons change. 

It's all about being content with how things are right now. Being thankful for the people in your life today, for the job you have, and for all the good things in your life.  Enjoy the relationships you have right now, and make the most of the time you have today.  Because you never know when things are going to change.  People move away, take new jobs, go in different directions.  I am learning to simply expect this to happen.

It is what it is.

But knowing all this, that unexpected things happen, why do I get so up-ended when things don't go how I think they will go?   Maybe it's because I am more of a control freak than I thought I was?  I don't know.

We have to let people be who they are.  The most uncomfortable situation we can put someone in is to try to force them into the mold of our expectations.  People have to choose their own path, and they may not want to take the advice we offer them.  We may think we know what is best for someone, and give them what we believe is sound advice from our 'objective' point of view.  But don't be surprised when people do the opposite. Even when we think they are making the worst possible choice, ultimately, it is their choice to make.

You can't live another person's life for them.

When you truly love someone, it's okay to let them know you don't agree with the choices they make. But let them know that even though you disagree with them, you're still going to be there for them, and nothing can ever change that.

I'm learning that following my heart is not always a good thing, because my heart can deceive me.  I need to let my mind lead my heart.  The heart wants what the heart wants, but, in my experience, that is definitely not always a good thing.  Not all the desires of my heart are pure, nor are they God's will for me.  I have to be very discerning, and ask God for His wisdom.

Proverbs 2:1-11

      "My son, if you receive my words,

      And treasure my commands within you, 

      So that you incline your ear to wisdom, 

      And apply your heart to understanding; 

      Yes, if you cry out for discernment, 

      And lift up your voice for understanding, 

      If you seek her as silver, 

      And search for her as for hidden treasures; 

      Then you will understand the fear of the LORD, 

      And find the knowledge of God. 

      For the LORD gives wisdom; 

      From His mouth come knowledge and understanding; 

      He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; 

      He is a shield to those who walk uprightly; 

      He guards the paths of justice, 

      And preserves the way of His saints. 

      Then you will understand righteousness and justice, 

      Equity and every good path. 

      When wisdom enters your heart, 

      And knowledge is pleasant to your soul, 

      Discretion will preserve you; 

      Understanding will keep you."

Ultimately, God works it all out - He works all things together for good for those who love Him, and are called according to His purpose.  Even when we choose the wrong path, God will graciously show us where we erred, and point us back to the path He has for us.  But we have to have our ears open to hear His voice, and the soil of our heart must be soft and broken up so that His seeds of wisdom may land there and take root, and bear much fruit to Him. 

Stay loose in the saddle. 

When you choose a path that God shows you was the wrong choice, turn from your error and get back on track with where He placed you.  And when someone you love does the opposite of what you recommended they do, keep loving and encouraging them.  It is when we make a poor choice and God shows us our error, that we need true friends to come alongside us and love us through the season of healing that we will need to walk through. 

It's wonderful that we don't have to walk that path alone.

A friend sticks closer than a brother.

—God is Love and Love Never Fails.