Living With Life's Disappointments

"Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray."

(James 5:13)

Loneliness. Sadness. Rejection. Disappointment.

These are among the most heartbreaking aspects of the human condition.

Many people feel like God has abandoned them when their life has not turned out the way they had hoped. Prayed for. Longed for.

A marriage ends in divorce because of adultery. Or, simply dies a slow death due to neglect. A child rebels and disowns her parents. A self-absorbed parent fails his child and the relationship is severed. A long career goes down in flames. Good health departs and terminal disease enters in. Family disowns one of its own due to ideological differences. Friendships die over time. Financial security dries up.

Most people are likely living with some type of disappointment in their lives. And many of us, after long years of seeing little, to no light at the end of the tunnel, eventually just give up. We throw in the towel. Oh, not with any fanfare. We simply stop trying and inwardly resign ourselves to, "Oh well, this is just the way it is." And then we attempt to put on a happy face and try our best to just get on with life.

The walking wounded.

But what most of us won't do—is give our disappointments and broken hearts to God. We don't invite Him into our pain to heal us there. We try to "be strong" and go it alone. Even worse, since our hearts have gone through years of emotional starvation, and we look to something, or someone else, to fill up the empty, famished places in our hearts. This is where adulterous relationships and addictions come from. We try to numb the pain, and fill the void in our hearts that only God can truly fill and satisfy.

But a bottle of pills, booze, gorging ourselves with comfort food, trolling the Internet for sexual fulfillment, or a forbidden affair will never satisfy our empty hearts and souls. They will only add crushing guilt and shame to our emptiness and sadness.

Lord, help our unbelief.

The great danger in staying stuck in our pool of self pity can invite our mortal Enemy, Satan, to sow his seeds of bitterness and resentment in our hearts toward others who have let us down...

And I can tell you from sad experience, that unforgiveness is a self-imposed prison that you can never escape from, until you choose to forgive from your heart, those who you feel have wronged you.

We have such a difficult time seeing God in our disappointments, because we're so self-focused on our circumstances and pain, that we don't stop to consider that He may actually be using this as part of His weaning process—to set our hearts free from seeking fulfillment in other things or people, when He knows that only He can satisfy our broken hearts. He uses the trials we experience in a fallen world, to draw us closer to Him. He wants us to find the abundant life that He offers. He is calling us there. But we have to choose to surrender our pain and disappointments to Him, and allow Him to lead us there; to lie down and rest in His green pastures, beside the still waters.

I've learned over the years that when we are too needy, (or perceived as being so), we can actually repel the people we love the most. It can become a form of idolatry; looking to someone else to fill the need only God can fulfill. Idolatry is simply placing something or someone else before God, or in His rightful place in our lives. Be careful. This is a quick path to depression and addiction.

We must turn to God and cry out to Him for comfort and healing.

“For the hearts of this people have grown dull. Their ears are hard of hearing, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, lest they should understand with their hearts and turn, so that I would heal them.” (Matthew 13:15)

James writes, "Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray." (5:13)

Prayer is talking with God and listening for His still small voice. Not simply talking at Him, giving Him our laundry list of wants and needs. He is our loving Father. If you were blessed to grow up with a loving father in your home, how did you talk to your dad when you were hurting? This is what prayer is supposed to be like. Not 'naming and claiming' stuff you want. It's having an intimate conversation with your heavenly Father—giving Him all your hurts, fears, disappointments and sorrows—turning to Him so He can heal your heart.

Disappointment is a part of this temporary life.

But seeing God's loving hand in the midst of our disappointments, as a way of drawing us closer to Him, is the secret to a life of joy in Christ, despite whatever bad hand the world or Satan has dealt you.

People will all eventually let you down in one way or another. It's inevitable. 

None of us are perfect. We all fail each other at times. We cannot look to a husband, or a wife, our children, or our family for our ultimate happiness or fulfillment. Because even if they are willing to be that for us, they are never able to truly fulfill us. Neither can a pastor, a church, a job, or any material things.

Look unto Jesus—the Author and the Finisher of our faith. He alone can truly satisfy our famished hearts.

—God is Love and Love Never Fails.