(Me, in my extremely selfish stage of life; 1990)
Do people like to be around you?
Or does it seem like people have been avoiding you?
Perhaps it's because you constantly complain about the same old things that you have been complaining about for years.
When you spend time with your friends, do you tend to always ask for prayer for the same old "struggles" but you can't seem to break the destructive cycle of these issues in your life?
Have these destructive issues or behavioral patterns in your life been there for an extended period of time?
Time to grow up.
First, we need to clear up a way-too-common misconception:
You are not "struggling" with: "______________________." (You fill in the blank: "porn", "over eating", "drunkenness", "lying", "complaining about your soul-sucking job", "outbursts of wrath", "lusting after someone who you are not married to", etc, etc).
These behavioral patterns are not "struggles."
No, you choose to do these things.
It's not a "struggle"—it's sin. At least be honest and call it what it is.
You have been given the gift of free will brother (or sister).
Use it wisely.
"That we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head; Christ." (Ephesians 4:14-15)
When you consider the issues or problems in your life that you call "struggles" it should always cause you to ask yourself this one question: do you love God?
Because if you truly do, you will want to honor Him by being obedient and walking in the newness of the spiritual life that you have been freely given.
You will look at obedience and living a life that is pleasing to God as a "Get to"—not as a "got to."
"Growing up in all things into Christ"—(i.e. spiritual maturity)—is to choose to die to (your)-self-(will) and love Him and honor Him, by using the gift of free will that God has given you—choosing to obey His Word and His will.
How can I know what God's will is for me?
Start by praying and reading the Bible.
The Bible is God's primary source of communicating His will for us. Too many people (including me) spend time listening for some mystical 'voice' to tell them what they should do, not realizing that there are many voices out there—and most of them are not speaking the truth. Test every voice you hear by the written Word of God. Then you will surely know what God's will for you is.
The good news is, God never commands you to do anything without giving you everything you need to accomplish it.
Here is a long list, which clearly describes the kind of life that God wants you and I to live. It may look impossible to accomplish—but with God, all things are possible:
"So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.
That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin.” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:17-32)
You need the power of God to do all of that. And God's promise is "He is your very present help in time of need." But you have to ask Him for His help. "You do not have because you do not ask God." (James 4:2)
But you have to choose to obey God's commands.
I am faithful to my wife not because I am commanded to—it's because I love her.
Being faithful to God and loving Him should be done for the same reason, in the same way, but much, much more so.
Christ won't force you to do anything—including loving Him.
Love is a choice.
—God is Love and Love Never Fails.
